Friday, January 31, 2014

Allow me to share a thing...

Tanya is always concerned that I don’t have a set interest. It’s not idyllic when purchasing gifts for me I suppose, but I mean… I just love so much. I love everything I’ve ever gotten, regardless if I’m super into a fandom or not.** But I get on to secret kicks where I just sit and absorb. I am sponge… I am Spongebob Squarepants. I sit and I laugh uproariously to myself and just scroll through the internet.

tough spongebob meme computer time only ten hours today lol

Let me tell you what happens when I get deliriously excited about something: I research. Consistent and thorough research is how I deal with the tightness in my chest from anticipation. Is there a new show that someone recommended? Perfect. I will watch every episode, read director/producer/cast interviews and text people hilarious quotes. Is there a possibility I’ll have the funds to decorate a room in my house, or get staple furniture that I’ve been waiting years to buy? Break out the big girl pants, because this lady is about to do some major price comparison shopping with her good friend, Google. Paint colours, how to hang an asymmetrical grouping of art, the difference between hardware finishes, various historical themes (my bathroom is going to be Art Nouveau themed), common design patterns for that era, etc. These are all things I have seriously looked into. I could go on. Literally, I could. I would continue until your eyes bled from reading.

Fun fact : When the bombs went off last year at the Boston Marathon, I pretty much didn’t sleep for three days. I was partially terrified, but also very into learning everything I possibly could about the situation. I stayed up to 4am listening to police scanners with Redditors. I mentioned something that I had gleamed from a late night feed in comments and it was subsequently posted to some news sites that week. This made me supremely proud, if not a little worried for where the news gets its sources. My username is an Adam West Batman reference; not thinking they should take me at my word…

To put it bluntly: I get scary obsessed with something for a few weeks, put everyone off with my fascination and then realize that there are other things in life to be interested in. I still have a clandestine love affair with my old interests, but they are not as intense as before. It’s a good way to live.

What I am concerned about is the upcoming HPcation. I’ve been very bored lately. So bored, in fact, that I am trying to memorize the geographic location of all 196 recognized countries in the world (and some non recognized countries). That's not really the point of this story, but I feel like you will take pity on me and my crazies now.

If you are unaware, Tanya and I have kind of talked about going down to Florida for years, especially when Harry Potter World opened at Universal Studios. Each time it was mentioned, we discussed the best time to go, set a due date to save up our money and then promptly put thoughts of savings out of our mind; something always came up. We’re still both fairly young and at this stage of my life I have learned that there are a lot of things you want and a lot of things you need. Prioritizing is not always easy. Anyways, I had a crazed moment where I realized I haven’t left the country in nine years. I have gone down to Ogdensburg, which is extremely close to our border. It was only for an afternoon or so – just enough time to go to Walmart and stock up on US-only food– and then we’d head back to Canada. I wouldn’t call it a vacation.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="380"] For Reference[/caption]

I panicked and immediately started looking up train ticket costs, the average rent in Berlin, best backpacks to use for long term trips and the easiest ways to live in Europe for three months, as per my aforementioned panic-induced obsessions dictate I should. I then received a Universal Studios email to my personal email and had an epiphany of sorts. It was a manic sort of happiness. With three hours of extra exploring the web (along with the compiled research I had stored from three other planned Florida trips in my head) I booked a hotel in August for Tanya’s champagne birthday. I had very little patience for Tanya to actually tell me whether or not she would come with me. She would come, even if I had to pay for her.

That’s not even the scary part, my friends. I have spent the past four days compiling the following:

  • A list of necessary rides to go on, including those for a part of the park THAT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY FINISHED YET (see: Diagon Alley expansion)

  • Menus for restaurants in our immediate vicinity, along with the best times to go to miss the lines

  • Directions, walking times and water-taxi schedules for the best way around the park

  • Ride times, average line times and best way to go around the parks without needing to take a 30 minute nausea break

  • The best pools around our resort, cost of spa stuff, where all the Elvis memorabilia was in the Hard Rock (they have a jumpsuit!)

  • What is necessary to go into 313 bags for air travel, what to pack in carryon bags, best dresses to pack on vacation, insoles for sandals so I don’t have to wear runners around

  • The importance of Birthday buttons at Universal; what rides you can jump lines in; birthday related resort/park things that you could get

  • Mystic fountain questions, hidden props around the park and fun things to say to cast members

  • Around which area and what times Beetlejuice is around, because I'm ridiculous.

  • Merchandise in the parks that I can accrue as gifts/souvenirs

This is just the beginning. Keep in mind that my mind hasn't actually accepted that this is going to happen and also that it is still seven months away. If I spent this much time on learning French for my job, I would be fluent. I’m convinced that I’ll pretty much have the entire park, resort and surrounding area memorized before we get to YOW on the 25th. I’m just so excited this is happening and that I get to share it with my very best of friends. I hope you guys don’t think I’m delusional. I’m fairly normal, if not a smidge weird. If you can think of anything we should consider before we leave in August, please let me know so that I can research as soon as possible. Many thanks.

** Best gift ever still goes to this year’s Crystalopoly. Half because I’ve always wanted my own Monopoly game and half because I never think that people pay attention to me enough to know what I really like. Boy, was I proven wrong. Best. Gift. Ever. Ya’ll lose. Sorry, not sorry.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Imaginary Friend

Create an imaginary friend (human or not).

Tony was a neat beast, his feet looked like hands and his hands looked like kitchen utensils. Specifically the left was a ladle and the right a spatula. Tony had the pinkest of pink skin, so pink that it was often times considered to be the inspiration for the color of pepto bismol. What happened was Tony was good friends with the inventors, he had given them the idea to create something that you could drink so that you wouldn't feel sick after eating all the terrible foods he would serve, in return the rumor is they decided to make the medicine Tony Pink. Another rumor about his skin tone is that it is simply so pink because he is actually made of pink Muppet felt. No one will ever truly know the answer because Tony is a mute. Also he doesn't speak English. His language is unknown to our kind. The only way he was rumored to be able to communicate with the makers of the Pepto bismol was through modern dance. He is a beautiful dancer. While everyone tends to use the expression graceful as a swan, swans tend to utter, graceful as Tony, when they are away from the judgmental ears of humans. Mostly because swans know that if humans found something more graceful than them then there would be legitimately no reason to keep swans around. Especially if they could figure out a way to reproduce Tonys. Tony stands three foot seven and two thirds of an inch. His nose is shaped something like a tiny trumpet and when he sneezes (which is often due to his allergies) it always comes out as a perfectly pitched E flat. His eyes roughly the size of dimes but were just solid black like a marble, make some people feel uneasy but I always like knowing that his peripheral vision is hazy at best. This is beneficial due to his raging temper and his ability to run extremely fast and also because his influential nature, he tends to quickly recruit animals to follow his lead and attack his victims. Needless to say the ability to slip away quickly when he gets mad allows you a safer get away. See, while he is a vengeful creature, he is also extremely forgetful and as long as you stay out of sight for thirty six minutes he will have completely forgotten his anger. I am afraid I cannot tell you more about Tony because he is currently in the witness protection program and any other information may give him away to the large variety of criminals and psychopaths currently looking for him.

So that was my first attempt at these prompts. let me know what you think. You really get no choice in the matter but it would be nice to hear from people on the internet. It gets so lonely in the real world. Is it sad if I am in no way kidding? Whatever I am going to hang out with Tony.

Remember Me?

Oh Hi!

I guess you may have forgotten about me and my dear friend Crystal. You see, we have been... how do I say this... Lazy. I guess she has a better excuse than me with the ol' Two-jobs and way too much to do thing. I mostly have no excuse. I have been super busy work-wise and when I get home I have no motivation to do anything other than fall deeper and deeper into that lovely cavern I call Netflix. Its endless I tell you. ENDLESS.

The main issue is a lack of inspiration about writing topics. Without Crystal providing me with challenges I have nothing to say. Especially right now given that every day is basically a carbon copy of the day before. I mean what has really happened to me since you last heard from me... Nothing. I mean I did Nanowrimo again, and then there was that whole... Christmas thing. But other than that my life consists of Netflix and a lot of driving around.

I was at chapters the other day and I discovered this book:

642 thingsAnd so now I have some inspiration. By inspiration I mean a lazy way to have other people tell me what to write about without having to wait for Crystal to not be so busy. I can't really promise a schedule right now because its me and I have commitment issues but I do intend to prewrite a bunch of the prompts so that when I am bored at work or even if Crystal wants to still contribute (strong hint..please contribute also..everyone likes you better anyway) she can. Anyways, some of these prompts are short, some of them are a bit more involved. Some are silly, some seem to be more serious. We will see where this goes but hopefully it is fun. I should also mention I picked up the 642 things to draw as well so some may just be random pictures because drawing is fun also.

I will begin soon! STAY TUNED!

Monday, September 30, 2013

Best Friend Tag - That Poor Squirrel Edition

OK! So lots of quizes lately, I know, but it's a fun way to get to know Tanya and I. And you get to see what terrible friends we are to one another. For instance, in this recent post I realized I had no idea who Liz Merriweather is, nor why Tanya would want to be her. It totally makes sense, of course. I'm just an idiot. THAT'S ALL *hearty laugh* Tanya on the other hand did extremely well on her half of the best-friends-newlywed-game and I'm sure that she would be given a new 2002 Cadillac as a prize or something. Very well. I am a terrible friend, that's all. Tanya is great.

So here is one more quiz to prove how little I know about my best friend whom I love and adore and think the world of (please still talk to me):

  1. How/When did you meet? The year: 1972. The place: A board room. Seven people in wheelchairs sit at a circular conference table with an unlabeled pop can in front of them. They are told to take a sip and to describe the effects the soda has on their tastebuds. Miraculously, they all get up. Many a cured person tweeted in joy. Thus, 7UP had a name. (I don't know probably at Oma's house for family dinner when we were both still in onesies)

  2. What is your favorite memory of them? I still think fondly of both stories that Tanya mentioned last week. I'm trying to come up with another one. This is so damn hard. Because I have excellent memories of a lot of times and they all jumble. Like Christmas Eves? Oh and the Wonderland Trips. Playing Mary Kate and Ashley in the basement, or James Bond with Kris and Sandy. Days at the Richmond house where we would just watch a season of Greys and chat. Halloweens. Me teaching her how to make Ginger cookies and then her freaking out that your hands have to go into eggs. Russell Fair weekends with the girls. Burgers. Pizza nights. That time we went to see that Mel Gibson movie and the theatre was empty except us. Gym days. Every day. Seriously. I talk to her sometimes and it just makes my day better because we're hilarious. If I had to choose one, it would probably be the experience of writing Fierce for Sandy. It was a labor of love and sugar. We weren't even Christmas shopping yet because it was still early, but we were wandering around the mall and went into Home Sense and there stood this ridiculous horse. Anyways, Tanya ended up going back for it because we came up with this nonsensical back story which ended up being told in a book. We sat in my Glebe apartment until 4am one time just laughing our asses off about the possibilities of TAaalKIngg LiiiiiiikE tHIs in A TeEEXT. It perfectly demonstrates how freaking nuts we are when we are together.

  3. Describe her in one word: myperson fits perfectly. I could also describe her as Thatshortonewhoiscreativeasalleff

  4. What is Tanya's dream job? She'd be an emmy winning sitcom writter of a hilarious comedy that everyone loved. They'd be the new Frasier of award nights.

  5. What is her favourite makeup brand? ohhhh jeeze. Ok well I know that she likes Benefit when we creep around Sephora . Otherwise Maybelline? I know she likes their mascaras (because they are great)

  6. What annoys me about her? Her complaining about me being late lol. I do not have a car and the OC transpo is not my friend. I'm either 20 minutes early or 20 minutes late. All the time. Everytime. If anything, I'm annoyed by my own place of residence because it's never convienent for her and I swear to god it's the most frustrating thing trying to park downtown.

  7. If you could go anywhere in the world together where would you go? K well Tanya's champagne birthday = HP world for sure. I've been trying to find a good deal on a hotel for the past two weeks and I think Christmas = good deals? No? Suggestions anyone? OTHERWISE anywhere. Tanya would make anywhere fun. I think mostly I want to go to England with her and show her all the pretty things and the hills and stuff. She'd like it there.

  8. Favourite inside joke? Clicked like a South African. That poor squirrel. Dancing Pope. T-Pain. Cool Rider - so many to choose from.

  9. Who takes longer to get ready? The hair puts it past the mark. The answer is Tanya. I take way longer in dressing rooms because I make outfits, but I generally plan what I'm going to wear while I'm trying to sleep the night before. 15 minutes out of the shower and I'm good to go.

  10. Heels or Flats? Predominantly flats, but I love all of the heels she owns. She picks good shoes.

  11. Pants or dresses? Generally black pants but she looks so adorable in dresses that I can't even...

  12. Favourite animal? Monkeys because they're smart. She's an animal person... She has a lot of elephant stuff too because elephants are great and thennn also dogs because girl's best friend

  13. If her house was burning down what would she save? I laughed so hard at the truth in Tanya's answer. As long as her dogs were out, I think she'd save her photos? Is that a thing that is possible? She'd just grab all the photos.

  14. Comedy, Horror or Chick Flick? Comedy or chick flick woohoo

  15. Favourite movie? uuuuuuuhhhhmmmmm oh god. Grease 2. I'm sticking with that.

  16. Favourite TV Show? FRIENDS or How I Met Your Mother or New Girl.  Also Gilmore girls and greys and now she seems to be addicted to SHIELD too. Wide range.


Et voila! Complete! :D

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Caps Lock Makes it REAL


Crystal! You did pretty good! Also because they are the hardest questions ever because I am an asshole like that. I will totally try to do yours and then hate myself for sucking at it. First to score yours!

  1. Chandler-> You are right! I said Chandler because he is the sarcastic one who is a mess 99% of the time.

  2. BooBoo? –You had it in your secondary answers. I picked Bo because he is the king of all dogs. I did consider both Fez and BooBoo but Bo was just the tops. 

  3. Jennifer Lawrence?--She was my original choice, but then in my head I was all "Oh god I don't want to mess up her career, I can't act as good as her" So instead I went with someone (this is the one I changed my answer in my notebook long before she posted this) who I guess may not be considered a celebrity so thats not fair. Liz Meriweather - she is the genius behind New Girl. I would love to be in the writers room for that show. Like super crazy much.

  4. Mario Party? I should have picked Mario Party, you see I went for depth of the game. If I had to play the same game forever I don't know if MP would satisfy all my needs. It probably would... althoguh my hand may end up being all gross and blistered. I picked Lego HP but if I could make it both games so years 1-7. That way its an enormous game with lots of fun things to do. So I guess I cheated again. I Ginger Blazerfield didn't say no cheating.

  5. A plane ticket to HP World? Oh man this was close! I did have plane ticket but I went a bit farther and went to europe.

  6. Elephant? I totally had elephant. I had puppy sized elephant to be specific *nerdfighterssign* and then I stupidly said a small sized chimp. But now I am thinking even if the chimp stayed small it would still age and once a chimp is like 2 years old they get highly agressive. So I want to go back to puppy sized elephant because how awesome would that be.

  7. You don't have to know everything? Super close! I said I would go back to high school and tell myself not to stop writing because I hated my writing teacher. Also I think I would have pushed it a lot more then not gone for photography and maybe taken writing courses instead.

  8. Eating and Procrastinating/mess? I would like to stop both of these but instead I went for a more weird thing of picking at my nails 

  9. Anxiety? That would have been a smarter answer then what I said. This is where I put that I wish I weren't so messy.

  10. Ability to be on time? For sure 100% this.

So you got 2 absolutely correct, and then 4 basically so right that I will give them to you, and four that were still right but not as I answered. Tricky game though !

Now I shall answer back about you. I will get them all the twenty kinds of wrong.

  1. If Crystal was a character from FRIENDS, who would she be? – This is tricky. She does like museums like Ross... and clothes like Rachel... but shes funny like Chandler. Hmm. I think I would put it as a mix of all three? You probably would cheat like me on this and use tricky answers. 

  2. If Crystal could bring back any pet from the dead and have it live for the rest of her life as a healthy age (not old and broken) which past pet would she bring back? – Simba. Because Simba rocks.

  3. Which celebrity would Crystal trade lives with for one year?-- I might think she may pick Jennifer Lawrence. Or maybe whoever Henry Cavill is dating right now.

  4. If Crystal was told she could only play one video game for the rest of her life, which would she pick (any system)? — Mario Party because she is smarter than me.

  5. If Crystal won $5000 and was forced to buy something instead of paying bills, what would she buy? — She might either take a trip or just flee to BC and buy a dog. Or she might just buy all the shoes. lol.

  6. If Crystal could have one wild animal as a pet (size can be modified to better fit in a house) what would she get? — Puppy sized Elephant? Shes been a nerd fighter since 2007 it seems appropriate.

  7. If Tanya could go back in time and tell herself one thing, what age would she go to and what would she tell herself? – She might go back and say to stay at her job at the museum she worked at in high school. Because that's more experience and might help her now. Or maybe she would talk to her high school self and just say - its okay to not know whats going on but it'll be okay one day, also, your BFF Tanya just gets EVEN MORE AWESOME every year so at least you have that to look forward to. (amiright?)

  8. What irritating habit does Crystal have that she wants to stop? — Procrastinating? That or being late. they kind of fit together. I am noticing now that this question is basically the same as the next question

  9. If Tanya could change one non-physical-appearancey thing about herself, what would she change? — Anxiety. - same answer for you my dear

  10. If Crystal could change one thing about Tanya, what would she change? — She would probably change me into a tortoise or something. No I am just kidding obviously. She would probably ... hmm. She might make me perhaps smarter/more intellectual so I could have more interesting opinions on the things she likes? Or she might just make me less crazy so I would pester her about stupid things less.

Sooo.. How did I do?!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Challenge: Game show hosts are all secretly robots

You TOTALLY thought that I would forget, didn't you?

Well, ha. I did. And now it's quarter to midnight and I'm rushing to get this done because CAPS LOCK means business.

Below you will find my answers to the best-friend newlywed game hosted by our own fictitious Ginger Blazerfield *wink* (TM).  I left these for a really long time, so I don't know if Tanya has changed her answers or if she even remembers that I need to do this or not. Actually that is a lie. I know Tanya has changed her answers, as she told me she wanted to literally 20 minutes after she posted the original questions. So to wrap up: quick post. Superhero marriage proposal on Friday (I'm counting this as my Wednesday post) and then everything will be hunky dory.


  1. If Tanya was a character from FRIENDS, who would she be? -- This is a trick question because Tanya has traits from all the characters. But if I went with my knee-jerk reaction, it would be Chandler.

  2. If Tanya could bring back any pet from the dead and have it live for the rest of her life as a healthy age (not old and broken) which past pet would she bring back? --Uhm crap. Dude, this is both horrifying and difficult. BooBoo the boxer? I know he wasn't your pet per se, but you're an animal person and you freaking love everything to death. Bo, Fez, Dusty, Aspen, Squee, Magoo, etc. Hard to choose one. You're mean.

  3. Which celebrity would Tanya trade lives with for one year?--Jennifer Lawrence. (runners up: whoever is dating Chris Evans/Pine right now)

  4. If Tanya was told she could only play one video game for the rest of her life, which would she pick (any system)? -- I should hope that she would choose Mario Party because of our history at being awesome at Mario Party. (runners up: Lego Batman 2 for the talking parts and the less annoying camera angles, Lego Harry Potter and Katamari)

  5. If Tanya won $5000 and was forced to buy something instead of paying bills, what would she buy? -- A plane ticket and an all inclusive stay at Harry Potter World? (runners up: world peace, a bulldog, aaannnd lots of roots sweatpants because they're cozy as all eff. I'm wearing roots sweatpants right now)

  6. If Tanya could have one wild animal as a pet (size can be modified to better fit in a house) what would she get? -- Elephant. A teeny tiny elephant. (runners up: monkey, house hippo, fierce)

  7. If Tanya could go back in time and tell herself one thing, what age would she go to and what would she tell herself? -- Probably to her back at the end of grade twelve to tell herself that she doesn't have to have it all together. Or the same thing during her first year of college. I remember sitting with her at her kitchen table and she had two different programs in mind and we kind of pro/con'd them for a while and I think it was just so much pressure to choose *something* that she ended up hating what she did choose for a while. I'm glad she started kind of taking pictures again because she's hella talented. Read my letter of reference if you don't believe me. (runner up: go back to when she was like 7 and tell young Tanya to NOT run in front of the mattress *just yet* in order to avoid the screw driver Kris was throwing at her eye)

  8. What irritating habit does Tanya have that she wants to stop? -- lol the only one I can think of is eating KD. But it's so delicious. (runners up: piling stuff in her office and leaving it there forever and not writing when she means to ie: procrastinating)

  9. If Tanya could change one non-physical-appearancey thing about herself, what would she change? -- Anxiety.

  10. If Tanya could change one thing about Crystal, what would she change? -- Absolutely nothing because she's perfect. Honestly? Ability to be on time for sure. I suck at that. Or my penchant for calling everyone Dude.


TANYA'S CHALLENGE: Tell me my score AND answer the same questions for me. My answers have been written down in my agenda and I am stoked to see what you think.





A Letter Of Recommendation

To whom it may concern,

I have known Tanya R. for 23 years and can attest to her ability to outperform any candidate you may have considered for this position. I am writing to offer my highest recommendation to Ms. R, a cherished friend and trusted advisor. She would be well suited for the position of “Highest Grossing Fiction Writer Ever”, as demonstrated by her past achievements, as well as her personal aspirations.

Tanya’s creative nature is arguably amongst the finest in the world. Her ability to circumvent expectation and pursue unusually twisted plots allows her to fully explore all expects of her own imagination. She gains inspiration from self reflection and occurrences in her own life which she subsequently transforms into a story of epic proportions. People of all ages are oftentimes in awe of her stories; they are thrilling and present such inherently human characterizations that each one proves hard to put down. She cares about each person she fabricates which is demonstrated through her background knowledge for even the most tertiary character in her story. This is also a testament to her organizational skills. Suffice to say, she’s got them.

Her creativity has been present throughout her life, though released through a variety of outlets, such as stenciling, dancing, painting, drawing, playing music and paper crafts. These artistic vehicles have effectively produced a well rounded yet freethinking adult. Tanya is able to communicate through these each of these art forms in a playful manner, though at the same time, she elicits a deeper emotion. Not to sound too overwrought, Tanya s able to visualize her own story so thoroughly that she could create an entire world in a matter of minutes if she so chose.

Tanya’s own trials have offered a lot to her creativity as well. Though she is generally introverted, she comes alive when talking about writing and art. She considers each aspect of criticism and is extremely self aware of her writing style. During the time I’ve known her, Tanya continues to develop and improve in her artistic endeavors. Her own experiences translate beautifully into a world of fantasy and her imagination does not often seem hyperbolic. Until you meet the talking horses, that is. Compared to other young writers her age, she is a hard worker and understands the challenges of her professional field. Despite her incredibly busy schedule, Tanya continues to remember her life goals. She deserves success more than anyone I’ve ever met.

Her writing has always been entertaining and witty, as she is in life. She is caring and does not easily judge. She helps others make improvements in their own lives and her work ethic is undeniably strong. I could go on and on about her qualifications for this position, but I would then have to write a novel myself. I have no doubts that her abilities and determination will continue to grow. I am happy to advocate for Ms. R and I hope that this letter helped you to make an informed decision to accept her for this position.

If you have any further questions, feel free to contact me.

Crystal P


You guys - I suck. I know that. I've been all over the place lately and way too busy to write. Actually, the only thing I have writen lately is a recommendation letter for myself on behalf of an old prof... I'm waiting for her to proofread it, guys, I'm not just going to put words into someones mouth. How dare you and your implications! Anyways... I got Tanya to read over my letter about how great I was so that I didn't sound way too over the top and then she said: "Uhh that letter is fricken amazing... I want you to write me daily letters so I feel competant." And it made me sad because she is MORE than competant, am I right, folks? So that's how this happened. And it's just a first draft! Too many commas and not enough good stuff. Needs to be more flow. I don't know.

And so to finish this off: things are happening and there's lots of ... stuff and things. My life is busy and I might be doing more stuff and things soon so I can't promise that I'm going to be on here regularly. It's totally fine because Tanya's the better one anyways. That's all I really want to say. BUT I WILL DO THE BEST FRIEND GAME SHOW CHALLENGE TONIGHT. Capslock makes it real.

<3 xx



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