Postemptive Punches

Today seems like a day where everyone deserves to be punched in the arm.

Even if they haven't done anything today, you know they either did something before and got away with it, or are planning it do something in the future. Its a preemptive punch. Or a postemptive...depending on which it was... What's the word for that. I'm the worst writer in the world. According to google its reactive.. But its probably a delayed reaction so I doubt that's the word I want. New word invention time:

Postemptive: (post-emp-tive) when some did something days, months or even years ago and you are only reacting to it now. Usually includes a punch or two. (Interest can be added, doubling number of punches should the action deserve it). Opposite of preemptive

There. Fixed.

Good thing they invented the internet so idiots like me can make up shit and pretend like we don't suck at life.

Moral of the story: today, everyone deserves to be punched in the arm.

Even me. But only if its by like... A small child or a skinny woman. Mostly because I bruise like a really old banana. And also because I feel that because I am the one who not only realized that today is a punchy kind of day but invented a new word, that you should cut me a little bit of slack...no?

Its just one of those days where everything is stupid. Except my sweatpants. Those could do no wrong. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Overheard at Walmart

Its like those "People of Walmart" pictures where they are wearing something horrific, except it was something this woman was babbling about. I can't remember the exact words but in all honesty, the ones you think I would be making up are the legit ones.

Me: *wandering around the clothing section after leaving work waiting for my ride to come*

Lady: Excuse me

Walmart Associate (who apparently missed basic training as normal ones have invisibility cloaks): Yes?

Lady: Can you help me find Capri's for Petite people *woman says in a disgruntled voice*

Me: *still looking around at clothes becoming intrigued by her apparently disgust*

Lady: Do you even sell clothes for petite people? I mean the sizing is completely different!

Me *notices woman is taller than me by a few inches, still short and probably "petite" but trying really hard not to laugh at her anger*

Walmart associate: *blank stare* I know we sell some, did you lo-

Lady: I looked everywhere, do you sell them or not? I have looked everywhere, Zellers, Walmart, none of you sell petite size Capri's.

Walmart associate: Oh well let me check over here *tries to look through rack of Capri's beside her that are clearly labelled petite*

Lady: Well those aren't short enough, don't you know that petite sizes are smaller? I mean they fit completely different. I don't know why no one makes them its so unfair.Its so prejudice. I could get a lawyer and sure because this is ridiculous and unfair. I just want some Capri's.

Me: *openly staring with mouth hanging open, realizes I am wearing Capri's, laughs. I am 5'2*

Lady: God, this is so unfair. *storms off*

Walmart Associate: *blank stare, shares a look of terror with me, turns and slowly walks away in complete shock*

So, dear lady who thinks she is too petite for the world. Almost all pants can be hemmed. Spend the 7$ and have them shortened if you are that picky. OR if you are that cheap, a lot of them can be rolled up and will stay rolled up. Or, look at stores that are actually clothing stores?

Anyways, this concludes the pre-written portion of this blog. I should be returning today if I didn't count wrong! See you soon!

Overheard at Walmart

Its like those "People of Walmart" pictures where they are wearing something horrific, except it was something this woman was babbling about. I can't remember the exact words but in all honesty, the ones you think I would be making up are the legit ones.

Me: *wandering around the clothing section after leaving work waiting for my ride to come*

Lady: Excuse me

Walmart Associate (who apparently missed basic training as normal ones have invisibility cloaks): Yes?

Lady: Can you help me find Capri's for Petite people *woman says in a disgruntled voice*

Me: *still looking around at clothes becoming intrigued by her apparently disgust*

Lady: Do you even sell clothes for petite people? I mean the sizing is completely different!

Me *notices woman is taller than me by a few inches, still short and probably "petite" but trying really hard not to laugh at her anger*

Walmart associate: *blank stare* I know we sell some, did you lo-

Lady: I looked everywhere, do you sell them or not? I have looked everywhere, Zellers, Walmart, none of you sell petite size Capri's.

Walmart associate: Oh well let me check over here *tries to look through rack of Capri's beside her that are clearly labelled petite*

Lady: Well those aren't short enough, don't you know that petite sizes are smaller? I mean they fit completely different. I don't know why no one makes them its so unfair.Its so prejudice. I could get a lawyer and sure because this is ridiculous and unfair. I just want some Capri's.

Me: *openly staring with mouth hanging open, realizes I am wearing Capri's, laughs. I am 5'2*

Lady: God, this is so unfair. *storms off*

Walmart Associate: *blank stare, shares a look of terror with me, turns and slowly walks away in complete shock*

So, dear lady who thinks she is too petite for the world. Almost all pants can be hemmed. Spend the 7$ and have them shortened if you are that picky. OR if you are that cheap, a lot of them can be rolled up and will stay rolled up. Or, look at stores that are actually clothing stores?

Anyways, this concludes the pre-written portion of this blog. I should be returning today if I didn't count wrong! See you soon!