Back to School

This year is the first year I am not enrolled in school in 4 years. Before that, I did correspondence / a semester of college and before that, I was in high school. So needless to say, this September feels a little empty.

I am sure once October comes and everyone I know is freaking out in midterms and assignments and all I have to worry about is what my Nano novel will be about or if we have enough Halloween candy stocked up I will be fairly pleased. It's just that right now, I feel very strange.

I don't want to be in school at all. I never enjoyed school the way most people who pay six grand a year are supposed to. I don't really enjoy learning about things when I am expected to retain and regurgitate it. I have known for a while that I would not be able to go for my masters right away which without it renders my degree mostly useless. I don't even really know if I will ever go, for many reasons, including money, time, effort and my marks aren't good enough to even get in anyways. But, I can't say that I never will because in theory, having a masters would make me sound fairly smart - won't necessarily make me smart, but I could fool the masses.

So, all this to say is I don't miss school at all, but some how I still feel like I should be there.

Now, on the other hand, I started university two years later then most people do. I had been out in the real world for almost two full years before I stepped foot in a university classroom. Not only was I out of the high school frame of mind, but I had all kinds of crazy situations that had probably made me age ten years. Keep in mind, that I hate teenagers when I was a teenager and I think you can see the issue.

Going to school in first year for me, was like babysitting without getting paid. It was like I was stuck in a room of toddlers and for some reason was paying thousands to be there. Now, I do admit I am not the most mature person out there. Not even close. But having to spend the first month of my school year sitting in a giant auditorium behind ditsy blond ass holes who only talk about how awesome prom was almost killed me. I have problems paying attention. Classrooms are kind of the worst place for me to be in because the second someone is playing solitaire on their laptop in front of me I no longer care what the teacher says, so if the blond idiots who will never pass first year are constantly flipping through their skanky prom pictures my brain can do nothing except watch and think of snarky remarks.

Here is a small tip for teenagers entering University/college: If you want to look at pictures or play games, no one cares I promise. Just sit at the back. I don't know who you think you are kidding, but if you sit at the front and play pac man, people will see and then they can't focus. Also, get over prom. It happened, you were probably so drunk and it was so funny, but its over. Get over it.

Needless to say I am in a bad mood. As I walked to work this morning I saw a small fleet of Frosh week people standing in my way. This alone wouldn't be so bad, however they dared to start to sing Spice Girls. I know everyone loves the Spice Girls and that I have no right to claim them on behalf of my generation, but when you are not even old enough to have tried on platform sneakers when they were popular, please don't sing their songs at those who were. Or if you are going to sing their songs, at least sing them right because its offensive not to. They are an international treasure and deserve some respect.

But, teenagers as you enter university/college remember this one thing: Don't be an I.D.I.O.T. If you aren't going to pay attention in class, don't go. Unless attendance is marked and then go, but leave at the break.

This is a long ranty post about stupid teens. Hopefully if you are a teen and you are reading this, you will be less annoying to the people around you. but chances are if you made it far enough to this point you are not the ones I am talking about, you are probably one like I was who hates their own kind.

Good Luck at school young folks!

This is a picture of me infiltrating the I.D.I.O.T group and slowly burning them until they get less annoying. Some call it torture, some call it operant conditioning. Thank you Bachelor in Psychology for teaching me how to train people. 20 grand well spent.

Back to School

This year is the first year I am not enrolled in school in 4 years. Before that, I did correspondence / a semester of college and before that, I was in high school. So needless to say, this September feels a little empty.

I am sure once October comes and everyone I know is freaking out in midterms and assignments and all I have to worry about is what my Nano novel will be about or if we have enough Halloween candy stocked up I will be fairly pleased. It's just that right now, I feel very strange.

I don't want to be in school at all. I never enjoyed school the way most people who pay six grand a year are supposed to. I don't really enjoy learning about things when I am expected to retain and regurgitate it. I have known for a while that I would not be able to go for my masters right away which without it renders my degree mostly useless. I don't even really know if I will ever go, for many reasons, including money, time, effort and my marks aren't good enough to even get in anyways. But, I can't say that I never will because in theory, having a masters would make me sound fairly smart - won't necessarily make me smart, but I could fool the masses.

So, all this to say is I don't miss school at all, but some how I still feel like I should be there.

Now, on the other hand, I started university two years later then most people do. I had been out in the real world for almost two full years before I stepped foot in a university classroom. Not only was I out of the high school frame of mind, but I had all kinds of crazy situations that had probably made me age ten years. Keep in mind, that I hate teenagers when I was a teenager and I think you can see the issue.

Going to school in first year for me, was like babysitting without getting paid. It was like I was stuck in a room of toddlers and for some reason was paying thousands to be there. Now, I do admit I am not the most mature person out there. Not even close. But having to spend the first month of my school year sitting in a giant auditorium behind ditsy blond ass holes who only talk about how awesome prom was almost killed me. I have problems paying attention. Classrooms are kind of the worst place for me to be in because the second someone is playing solitaire on their laptop in front of me I no longer care what the teacher says, so if the blond idiots who will never pass first year are constantly flipping through their skanky prom pictures my brain can do nothing except watch and think of snarky remarks.

Here is a small tip for teenagers entering University/college: If you want to look at pictures or play games, no one cares I promise. Just sit at the back. I don't know who you think you are kidding, but if you sit at the front and play pac man, people will see and then they can't focus. Also, get over prom. It happened, you were probably so drunk and it was so funny, but its over. Get over it.

Needless to say I am in a bad mood. As I walked to work this morning I saw a small fleet of Frosh week people standing in my way. This alone wouldn't be so bad, however they dared to start to sing Spice Girls. I know everyone loves the Spice Girls and that I have no right to claim them on behalf of my generation, but when you are not even old enough to have tried on platform sneakers when they were popular, please don't sing their songs at those who were. Or if you are going to sing their songs, at least sing them right because its offensive not to. They are an international treasure and deserve some respect.

But, teenagers as you enter university/college remember this one thing: Don't be an I.D.I.O.T. If you aren't going to pay attention in class, don't go. Unless attendance is marked and then go, but leave at the break.

This is a long ranty post about stupid teens. Hopefully if you are a teen and you are reading this, you will be less annoying to the people around you. but chances are if you made it far enough to this point you are not the ones I am talking about, you are probably one like I was who hates their own kind.

Good Luck at school young folks!

This is a picture of me infiltrating the I.D.I.O.T group and slowly burning them until they get less annoying.
Some call it torture, some call it operant conditioning.
Thank you Bachelor in Psychology for teaching me how to train people.
20 grand well spent.

Happy National Asshole Day!

Hi Everyone!

I am here to wish you a Happy National Asshole Day!

Today, people will be driving in attempts to kill you, driving really slowly, walking out into traffic, yelling at you for no reason, and generally acting like a prick all day.

This day is probably a result of parents being pissed off about having to spend all that money for their kids going back to school, and losing all of their vacation days wasted sitting at a water park with their spoiled kids. So they take it out on us poor people in the city.

The next big holiday is I.D.I.O.T. Day. It is the day in early September of Irresponsible Delirious, Inconvenient, Oblivious Teens. They will soon be going back to school, henceforth filling up the bus systems as they block the doors, they will walk hand and hand down side walks not moving for anyone, and they will be really loud and inconsiderate wherever they may go. This Day is not necessarily always a day, but more of a time period. It usually lasts until June. Sorry world.

 Perhaps its more of I.D.I.O.T Month, September is the worst. And June. Or all of it. Maybe a season? I.D.I.O.T Season from Sept-June?

If you are a teen and you are reading this take note: No one cares about anything you have to say when you are on public transportation. If you are with your friends, use your indoor voices. Remember when you learned that in kindergarten? Good, use them. Also, step away from the bus doors unless  you are getting off of the bus. Its rude. And lastly, just because you are all popular in high school and think you are relevant, you are not. This is the real world boys and girls, no one cares if you are the "most awesomest in the school" except your mother. So go talk loudly near her, because me and the other working chumps of the city could not care less.

If you are not one of those loud and annoying teens who actually have the mental capacity to respect the world around them, go get a cupcake you totally deserve it.

To all the assholes out there today on National Asshole Day: Please go get a sedative and stay home? I know that's too much to ask for because you are all already at work, I know I have already seen you and been annoyed by you. But if any of you are still home, stay there. Save the rest of us. Although maybe that makes me an asshole? Its allowed today I suppose, its defensive. The best defence is a good offence... or some other sports analogy that lets me get away with being an ass today...




Go Home Assholes! Your giving me eye spasms!



Happy National Asshole Day!

Hi Everyone!

I am here to wish you a Happy National Asshole Day!

Today, people will be driving in attempts to kill you, driving really slowly, walking out into traffic, yelling at you for no reason, and generally acting like a prick all day.

This day is probably a result of parents being pissed off about having to spend all that money for their kids going back to school, and losing all of their vacation days wasted sitting at a water park with their spoiled kids. So they take it out on us poor people in the city.

The next big holiday is I.D.I.O.T. Day. It is the day in early September of Irresponsible Delirious, Inconvenient, Oblivious Teens. They will soon be going back to school, henceforth filling up the bus systems as they block the doors, they will walk hand and hand down side walks not moving for anyone, and they will be really loud and inconsiderate wherever they may go. This Day is not necessarily always a day, but more of a time period. It usually lasts until June. Sorry world.

 Perhaps its more of I.D.I.O.T Month, September is the worst. And June. Or all of it. Maybe a season? I.D.I.O.T Season from Sept-June?

If you are a teen and you are reading this take note: No one cares about anything you have to say when you are on public transportation. If you are with your friends, use your indoor voices. Remember when you learned that in kindergarten? Good, use them. Also, step away from the bus doors unless  you are getting off of the bus. Its rude. And lastly, just because you are all popular in high school and think you are relevant, you are not. This is the real world boys and girls, no one cares if you are the "most awesomest in the school" except your mother. So go talk loudly near her, because me and the other working chumps of the city could not care less.

If you are not one of those loud and annoying teens who actually have the mental capacity to respect the world around them, go get a cupcake you totally deserve it.

To all the assholes out there today on National Asshole Day: Please go get a sedative and stay home? I know that's too much to ask for because you are all already at work, I know I have already seen you and been annoyed by you. But if any of you are still home, stay there. Save the rest of us. Although maybe that makes me an asshole? Its allowed today I suppose, its defensive. The best defence is a good offence... or some other sports analogy that lets me get away with being an ass today...




Go Home Assholes! Your giving me eye spasms!