Friday: Short Story Day!

I don’ t know when I started saying ‘ya’ll’.

As in ‘ya’ll come back now, ya here?’

It kind of makes me feel more country than I actually am. For I, like many faux country girls, grew up in a very nice house that was more ‘suburban’ than ‘farmer’s field’. Despite living across from some very nice people with a petting zoo and a small herd of cattle, I never had to wake up at 5 am for chores, never got stepped on by a cow, never fell in poop. Well, I mean I probably did fall in poop in some point in my life, but I most likely blocked it out of my memory. And it was probably only dog poop. Not ACTUAL farm poop, guys. There’s a difference. Trust me.

Now I’m getting very specific about poop I may or may not have fallen in.

Back to the point, ya’ll. (If you don’t remember, this post was supposed to be about ‘ya’ll’ and not poop at all. God, keep up. I’m concerned for your mental well being, I set the stage like a paragraph ago.)

Anyways, I get all nostalgic for driving past corn fields daily, having more than a quarter acre yard and actually seeing stars when I look up at night, but I really don’t think I was ever country enough for the country. Knowing all the words to most Shania Twain songs does not a country girl make. Jokingly, my friends and I started saying ‘ya’ll’ because we were too ‘valley’ (read: Ottawa valley is a very large and sometimes vague area of country side where trashy girls come from. Like my best friend Kristen. Trashy as they come. Just kidding, Kristen). None of us are real country girls at all, but when we compared ourselves to the city girls we worked with, we didn’t fit into their lives either. It’s how I like to think we became friends. None of us saw the need to wear makeup daily, we didn’t own every Apple product ever made and we found brunch to be an extremely novel and compelling concept. Not to pigeon hole city girls- or country girls for that matter – but at that time we just didn’t feel as fashionable or in the know as these 16 year old girls. We bonded that way; we talked about our field parties, seeing lawn tractors being driven to work, and being stuck at the school for lunch until you were old enough to drive a car. Our memories kind of all meshed together – we shopped at Giant Tiger and getting a Tim Hortons that was a walk-able distance from high school was a big deal. We spoke like country girls and pronounced words wrong. We were hicks who weren’t even farmers. That’s when we started saying ‘ya’ll.’

They stopped when it got old and I just didn’t. I like how it sounded and I liked how much people were taken aback by a simple conjunction.

“Did you just say ya’ll?”

“Yep. You all – ya’ll”

“You know that just shortening it to ‘you’ works just as well? And is less of a grammatical shitfest?”

“Mmmhmm.”

(And that’s when they would turn skeptically away and retrospectively regret becoming friends with me.)

Also I think it’s hard for me to change sometimes. My friends are now the penultimate city girls: one is a hairstylist, who rocks everything she wears and has tried every health and nature related product on the market. She's like my inspiration to keep going on. The other is super fashionable, outgoing and a total closet nerd. Sometimes when I look at her, I realize what an introvert I really am. I guess I’ve changed too. I’m not the same girl who went to a country high school and played the flute in band. I’m definitely not the depressed girl who started at her first retail job and barely left her house. I’m like some kind of weird monster. I like keeping inside jokes and I like being country. I also like pretending that I can dress myself well and speak with profound intelligence. It is not a regular occurrence, but it happens sometimes, ok?  Country and city combined was my point. I’m 23 years old and still trying to find myself, but at least I know that I never want to let go of some parts of the girl who lived across from the petting zoo. The good parts. The parts that say ‘ya’ll’ and get excited about Tim Hortons.

1/10

Alligator playing the Banjo.

P.s. when I promised you ten pictures I did not give you any indication of quality.

1/10

Alligator playing the Banjo.

P.s. when I promised you ten pictures I did not give you any indication of quality.

Best. Grandparents. Ever.

So, I have the absolute best grandparents in the universe. Not only do they read this blog, which makes me nervous and happy all at once, but they gave me one of the most amazing gifts of all time.

Your argument is irrelevant I have a Batman action figure that is 2.5 feet tall.

When Batman is not saving Gotham from evil villains and terrible mob bosses, he likes to kick back and relax.

Batman prefers the support of an ergonomic chair.

Batman's favourite game is Lego Batman, closely followed by Lego Batman 2. He sometimes will play Arkham City however he finds the game a tad too realistic for down time.

Batman likes to check out how his blog, facebook, twitter and tumblr are doing on his Bat-Computer.

Batman likes to take some time to play with the dogs.

When Plushie-Catwoman visits he always has time to snuggle.

When plushie-Batman comes to visit it tends to get a little awkward for everyone.

Once Plushie Catwoman leaves, Batman can take a few minutes to do his aerobics.

You can't go out saving Gotham all night without getting tired some time.

Batman takes a nice relaxing bubble bath with mood candles that actually change colours.

Batman dries his .. hair? *Don't judge his messy room, Alfred has been suffering from narcolepsy lately due to stress*

Batman has a lot of hair products.

Reads his favourite comic book series. He is a bit behind but he has a lot on his plate so give him a break.

Batman has such a crush on Catwoman...

Batman makes a friend.  (Hi Colleen, hope you don't mind but Batman wanted to share his womanizing skills with the world.) Obviously she is infatuated. Who isn't though.

Batman means some of the League of Awesome including but not limited to Freddie and the Mad Hatter

Freddie and Batman bond instantly over their shared love of being awesome.

Batman plays with other people's things.

Batman gets ready to update his blog with the details of his down time. *Don't judge his messy desk or he will round house kick you in the teeth*

That is all for now folks :) Also, leave me some questions for the upcoming Q&A post so that I don't have to make up questions like, Why are you so awesome? How does on join the League of Awesome? etc.

Best. Grandparents. Ever.

So, I have the absolute best grandparents in the universe. Not only do they read this blog, which makes me nervous and happy all at once, but they gave me one of the most amazing gifts of all time.

Your argument is irrelevant I have a Batman action figure that is 2.5 feet tall.

When Batman is not saving Gotham from evil villains and terrible mob bosses, he likes to kick back and relax.

Batman prefers the support of an ergonomic chair.

Batman's favourite game is Lego Batman, closely followed by Lego Batman 2. He sometimes will play Arkham City however he finds the game a tad too realistic for down time.

Batman likes to check out how his blog, facebook, twitter and tumblr are doing on his Bat-Computer.

Batman likes to take some time to play with the dogs.

When Plushie-Catwoman visits he always has time to snuggle.

When plushie-Batman comes to visit it tends to get a little awkward for everyone.

Once Plushie Catwoman leaves, Batman can take a few minutes to do his aerobics.

You can't go out saving Gotham all night without getting tired some time.

Batman takes a nice relaxing bubble bath with mood candles that actually change colours.

Batman dries his .. hair? *Don't judge his messy room, Alfred has been suffering from narcolepsy lately due to stress*

Batman has a lot of hair products.

Reads his favourite comic book series. He is a bit behind but he has a lot on his plate so give him a break.

Batman has such a crush on Catwoman...

Batman makes a friend.  (Hi Colleen, hope you don't mind but Batman wanted to share his womanizing skills with the world.) Obviously she is infatuated. Who isn't though. 

Batman means some of the League of Awesome including but not limited to Freddie and the Mad Hatter

Freddie and Batman bond instantly over their shared love of being awesome.

Batman plays with other people's things.

Batman gets ready to update his blog with the details of his down time. *Don't judge his messy desk or he will round house kick you in the teeth*

That is all for now folks :) Also, leave me some questions for the upcoming Q&A post so that I don't have to make up questions like, Why are you so awesome? How does on join the League of Awesome? etc.

Reality TV

Good morning!

So I didn't really post at all this weekend because I am lazy. Also, I wasn't ever really home alone long enough to access the clever portions of my brain. I tried to get a post ready last night to display the awesome birthday gift my grandparents got me, I had pictures ready and everything but then as it turns out Dave, the lovely Dave, took the memory card out of my camera and left it at work without telling me. I don't have a USB cord for it so now my pictures are stuck on the internal memory and I don't know if I can move them or not. When he brings me back my memory card I will try because I had taken so many and I really don't want to redo it.

2 more weeks of work left. I might explode before then however I will try very hard not to because I assume the mess would be unpleasant.

If I don't fall asleep at my desk today then I think we can consider today a success. I am so exhausted its ridiculous.

Yesterday I was watching the Truman Show. Do I ever miss Jim Carrey. He is so excellent and delightful. That movie is very freaky. How would I react if I found out I was in some reality TV show against my will? None too pleased. However I can pretty much guarantee that's not the case because nothing exciting really happens to me.

The thing with the Truman Show, and I could be wrong but I think it came out before all the Survivors, and Big Brothers and etc came out. It was pretty much meant as a warning to respect peoples privacy. Instead it inspired a generation of television. Bad television. I am guilty of watching some reality TV shows, mostly because its summer and there is nothing else on, but they are really not the best thing for TV.

Later in the evening Dave and I watched the Hunger Games. Now I have read the books and I loved them, and I had already seen the movie but re-watching it is such a reminder to see how our world will end up one day if they don't get rid of the Kardashians now and forever more. The Kardashians are going to bring rise to the terrible death match on TV that the Hunger Games tries to advise against. I really don't know how, but if any reality TV show could do it, it would be them.

Anyways, that's what I was thinking about while I had a day filled of movies advising against reality TV, then spending my evening watching Big Brother. Oh the irony.

PS, Today is going to go one of two ways : I will either be posting a lot to try to stay awake, or I will fall asleep in five minutes and you won't hear from me for days because I was  dragged off by protective night wolves to sleep in a napping den.



It would be nicer if they didn't have to drag me by my hair.. its never very comfortable. Luckily I am too tired to even notice today.



Reality TV

Good morning!

So I didn't really post at all this weekend because I am lazy. Also, I wasn't ever really home alone long enough to access the clever portions of my brain. I tried to get a post ready last night to display the awesome birthday gift my grandparents got me, I had pictures ready and everything but then as it turns out Dave, the lovely Dave, took the memory card out of my camera and left it at work without telling me. I don't have a USB cord for it so now my pictures are stuck on the internal memory and I don't know if I can move them or not. When he brings me back my memory card I will try because I had taken so many and I really don't want to redo it.

2 more weeks of work left. I might explode before then however I will try very hard not to because I assume the mess would be unpleasant.

If I don't fall asleep at my desk today then I think we can consider today a success. I am so exhausted its ridiculous.

Yesterday I was watching the Truman Show. Do I ever miss Jim Carrey. He is so excellent and delightful. That movie is very freaky. How would I react if I found out I was in some reality TV show against my will? None too pleased. However I can pretty much guarantee that's not the case because nothing exciting really happens to me.

The thing with the Truman Show, and I could be wrong but I think it came out before all the Survivors, and Big Brothers and etc came out. It was pretty much meant as a warning to respect peoples privacy. Instead it inspired a generation of television. Bad television. I am guilty of watching some reality TV shows, mostly because its summer and there is nothing else on, but they are really not the best thing for TV.

Later in the evening Dave and I watched the Hunger Games. Now I have read the books and I loved them, and I had already seen the movie but re-watching it is such a reminder to see how our world will end up one day if they don't get rid of the Kardashians now and forever more. The Kardashians are going to bring rise to the terrible death match on TV that the Hunger Games tries to advise against. I really don't know how, but if any reality TV show could do it, it would be them.

Anyways, that's what I was thinking about while I had a day filled of movies advising against reality TV, then spending my evening watching Big Brother. Oh the irony.

PS, Today is going to go one of two ways : I will either be posting a lot to try to stay awake, or I will fall asleep in five minutes and you won't hear from me for days because I was  dragged off by protective night wolves to sleep in a napping den.



It would be nicer if they didn't have to drag me by my hair.. its never very comfortable. Luckily I am too tired to even notice today.