I got Nothing

Hello everyone. Happy weekend!

 

So I have had a semi-boring week. Not a whole lot happened which is fairly usual. I did get to go see my grandparents which is always super fun. Also got to hang out with Crystal on the holiday Monday which involved us sitting in the same position for about a half a season of Gilmore Girls. Then it re-sparked my addiction and now I can't stop. I need too because its greatly affecting my productivity.

I challenged myself to write 3000 words a day for my novel and have failed massively. Which isn't the end of the world but it is annoying to fail yourself when you aren't doing anything else remotely productive. I should try to go get some writing in now that I have managed to peel myself away from the television. Although I need to go pick up the boy in under an hour.

I mostly just wanted to remind Crystal that she has yet to complete her punishment listed here. 

To make life easier for her here is what it said:

PUNISHMENT#1: For your punishment you can choose between the following:

• OPTION A- post an photo of yourself as a young lady. It can’t be an adorable picture because we all know you were the cutest child, you would have to post something awkward.


• OPTION B- you would have to answer the challenge you gave to me (provide 5 memories good/bad and tell us why they are important)


• OPTION C – take a picture or yourself with a post-it stuck to your forehead that reads as follows: I AM UNTIMELY AND I APOLOGIZE.

So Crystal, you were late (technically you were late twice because I told you to have the punishment up by Monday too but I will let it slide this time) so you need to do your punishment at some point soon. Also don't forget your next challenge Monday -two truths and a lie.

Anyway I am going to attempt to be productive if my lack of attention span can try to focus for a half hour. BYYEE

Friday: Short Story Day!

I don’ t know when I started saying ‘ya’ll’.

As in ‘ya’ll come back now, ya here?’

It kind of makes me feel more country than I actually am. For I, like many faux country girls, grew up in a very nice house that was more ‘suburban’ than ‘farmer’s field’. Despite living across from some very nice people with a petting zoo and a small herd of cattle, I never had to wake up at 5 am for chores, never got stepped on by a cow, never fell in poop. Well, I mean I probably did fall in poop in some point in my life, but I most likely blocked it out of my memory. And it was probably only dog poop. Not ACTUAL farm poop, guys. There’s a difference. Trust me.

Now I’m getting very specific about poop I may or may not have fallen in.

Back to the point, ya’ll. (If you don’t remember, this post was supposed to be about ‘ya’ll’ and not poop at all. God, keep up. I’m concerned for your mental well being, I set the stage like a paragraph ago.)

Anyways, I get all nostalgic for driving past corn fields daily, having more than a quarter acre yard and actually seeing stars when I look up at night, but I really don’t think I was ever country enough for the country. Knowing all the words to most Shania Twain songs does not a country girl make. Jokingly, my friends and I started saying ‘ya’ll’ because we were too ‘valley’ (read: Ottawa valley is a very large and sometimes vague area of country side where trashy girls come from. Like my best friend Kristen. Trashy as they come. Just kidding, Kristen). None of us are real country girls at all, but when we compared ourselves to the city girls we worked with, we didn’t fit into their lives either. It’s how I like to think we became friends. None of us saw the need to wear makeup daily, we didn’t own every Apple product ever made and we found brunch to be an extremely novel and compelling concept. Not to pigeon hole city girls- or country girls for that matter – but at that time we just didn’t feel as fashionable or in the know as these 16 year old girls. We bonded that way; we talked about our field parties, seeing lawn tractors being driven to work, and being stuck at the school for lunch until you were old enough to drive a car. Our memories kind of all meshed together – we shopped at Giant Tiger and getting a Tim Hortons that was a walk-able distance from high school was a big deal. We spoke like country girls and pronounced words wrong. We were hicks who weren’t even farmers. That’s when we started saying ‘ya’ll.’

They stopped when it got old and I just didn’t. I like how it sounded and I liked how much people were taken aback by a simple conjunction.

“Did you just say ya’ll?”

“Yep. You all – ya’ll”

“You know that just shortening it to ‘you’ works just as well? And is less of a grammatical shitfest?”

“Mmmhmm.”

(And that’s when they would turn skeptically away and retrospectively regret becoming friends with me.)

Also I think it’s hard for me to change sometimes. My friends are now the penultimate city girls: one is a hairstylist, who rocks everything she wears and has tried every health and nature related product on the market. She's like my inspiration to keep going on. The other is super fashionable, outgoing and a total closet nerd. Sometimes when I look at her, I realize what an introvert I really am. I guess I’ve changed too. I’m not the same girl who went to a country high school and played the flute in band. I’m definitely not the depressed girl who started at her first retail job and barely left her house. I’m like some kind of weird monster. I like keeping inside jokes and I like being country. I also like pretending that I can dress myself well and speak with profound intelligence. It is not a regular occurrence, but it happens sometimes, ok?  Country and city combined was my point. I’m 23 years old and still trying to find myself, but at least I know that I never want to let go of some parts of the girl who lived across from the petting zoo. The good parts. The parts that say ‘ya’ll’ and get excited about Tim Hortons.

And now I am afraid of the flu

So Crystal meant to add the following into her post yesterday. She had emailed me my challenge early so I would have time to actually do it because she knew she was going to be posting a bit late last night. Here's the challenge:

Hey!

 Just emailing you Challenge #2 because you wanted prep time. I know that by the time I get home from work and write out my BSB challenge it will be pretty late. I know that the boy (do you put names in blogs? I never remember) loves Discovery Channel and this has inspired this week’s challenge. Shark Week started on August 4^th this year– and hopefully is still running by the time you post this. All I’m asking for are 3 cool facts about sharks – actual cool facts. Not just some lackadaisical Wikipedia entry stuff, but actual things that make sharks seem less like killing machines. They’re kind of rad, but also make me think my death is imminent every time I step into any kind of water source.  You can also totally any subjective thoughts you have or stories or anything, just make sure you get those facts.  

 For instance, I couldn’t remember the name of the 1999 movie where there are juiced-up sharks in what I thought was a lake, killing people (Deep Blue Sea, with Samuel L Jackson), so I googled ‘Shark in a Lake’. Not to terrify you, but it’s ABSOLUTELY A THING THAT HAS HAPPENED

Crystal

So as you can see Crystal has challenged me to a bizarre task of researching Sharks. Given that it is Discovery channel's Shark Week the theme seemed to make sense. Crystal wanted me to find you some facts that made it seem like they are not crazy killing machines and less terrifying. Now the problem is, I don't think I can do that. From my research I have concluded that sharks are terrifying and awful and I never ever want to meet one in the wild in my entire life. If it is not behind the safety of a glass tank or a television screen I have no desire to be anywhere near it. Crystal wanted three cool facts so I will try to give them to you based on my entirely reliable internet research that I totally put a lot of time into and checked in encyclopedias and stuff.

1. Even though almost equal numbers of men and women spend time in the ocean, no one knows why sharks seem to prefer to attack men. In fact, nearly 90% of shark attacks have happened to men.


2. The empty egg cases of some sharks (such as the dogfish shark) that wash up on seashores are called “mermaid purses.”


3. Dreaming has been observed in bony fish, but not yet in sharks.

So those are three non-terrifying things about sharks. Granted the first one is still scary for men, but seeing as how I am not a man I have that small comfort to assist me. I find it comical that an empty shark egg would be called a mermaid purse  because I am sure mermaids are a little bit more stylish than that. Could you imagine? A mermaid just swimming around an ocean and being all "Oh my goodness what is this glorious treasure is this?" *picks up eggs* "Why, this would go great with my seashell bra and coral hair accessories!" I guess it's not much different from us humans using alligator skin for our purses right? Do people use eggs for fashion on land?

Anyway so there's something comforting to me about sharks not being able to dream. I feel almost as though they don't deserve it do to the fact that I find them scary. I like dreams (most of the time) last night I had a bunch of them that were all really weird and involving people I haven't seen in a while but they were all fun anyway. I enjoy that a shark isn't allowed to dream. It's a magical place that evil things shouldn't be allowed to do.

So, the thing about this challenge is that now I am terrified of sharks. Not sure that Crystal thought through the act of giving this challenge to someone like me but I expect that I will never go in an ocean again. The thing about these three facts is I had to hunt for through various facts about how evil sharks. Now I know that a sharks bite will cut through steel. Great. There is also one kind of shark that basically cuts holes in its prey. Perfect. tonight when I go to sleep I am going to have a bunch of bad dreams about sharks. Which is the one downside to dreams I guess. If sharks could dream then we could teach them all the terrifying things about me and they could be haunted by the thought of meeting me. Things such as: is crazy, is basically batman in almost every way, can kill a creature with one eye twitch, sneezes fire, you know all those types of things. The most truthful things about myself.

Now that my fear of sharks is poised and heightened, I will give you one bonus fact:

1. Things we encounter in everyday life and common activities often pose much greater danger than sharks. For example, you are much more likely to be killed by a car or bicycle accident, bee stings, a fall, a mishap with fireworks, or even a bad case of the flu than by a shark attack.

So now I am afraid of dying from the flu. I am legitimately always sick. This is going to a be a rough winter up here in Canada-Land.



Anyway, now I need to think of a new challenge for Crystal.

OKAY GOT IT! (you don't know this but I just sat quietly for five minutes staring at the wall thinking.)

CHALLENGE #3: We are going to play Two Truths and a Lie.

You tell me Three stories about your life. Three things that happened to you. except one will be not true. THEN when you post that I have to guess which one I think the lie is. If I get it right, all is well. If I get it wrong, you can punish me with a punishment. I think it might be best to keep up the whole, pick one of three thing like I gave you but I will leave that to your discretion.

Challenge #2 - Impossible as it may seem...

Alright guys,

It has been a while since Tanya posted her second official challenge to me so I thought I would sum it up for you. My job this evening (in between making my lunch for work tomorrow and showering) is writing a poignant bio on one of the Backstreet Boys. It's a pretty rad challenge, and I'm totally up to it and we'll see how far I get in the next 34 minutes!

So who will it be?

 (such amazing choreography wow)

...

I chose our good friend Kevin.

(So attractive- am I right, ladies?)

Why Kevin? He was pretty underrated amongst my group of friends; he was never the Backstreet Boy you'd want to take to the preteen dance with you, that's for sure. I felt he needed some encouragement.

(Even Google forgets him - This is the Kevin Richardson that came up first on Google. I was confused when they mentioned Kevin was a zoologist.)

*Ahem*

Kevin Richardson, now 41, of Kentucky joined the Backstreet Boys in 1993 and recorded five albums with the group over a period of 13 years (now Backstreets back - alright - with another album this year I guess). When he joined the group was short a member, so he petitioned his cousin, Brian, to audition for the role and join them in their quest to be sensational pop stars.

("haha! As if we're related!")

They became ridiculously popular and blah blah blah I didn't really research their discography, but like... Me and my friends totally loved them and there were lots of people at their concerts and things so it's fine. Kevin recalls the time fondly, stating: "we had tons of bras and panties thrown on stage and stuffed animals, and it's frustrating sometimes; we've slipped and fell..."

Media was all about the boy bands back then, my friends. Publicizing the constant rivals and finding out the inner most desires of each band member was every journalist's dream job (I'm kidding don't sue me).

(Colour coordination always wins out.)

In fact, People magazine listed Kevin as one of their 'Dreamboats' of the year (With a two page spread. Suck on that, Nick), prompting him to say "People [the magazine] call me the sexiest pop star alive." More hilariously, the New York Times deemed Mr. Richardson the group's "most likely future male model."

"

(Obviously they missed Howie's AB roll in the Quit Playing Games With My Heart music video)

Kevin did give up his position in the Backstreet Boys in 2006 because he "didn't feel inspired" to perform anymore. Obviously, in the past  he was incredibly inspired to tell the world to get down and move it all around. He returned to the band "full time" in April 2012, and I'm sure everyone is super psyched to have him back (except Nick, who he is rumored to be fighting with).

Ok. Ok. It's not all awkward nostalgia. Researching this particular Backstreet Boy was more fun than I thought it would be. Kevin actually plays instruments - piano, drums and guitar - and in 2003 he composed the soundtrack for the movie 'the Spirit Bear', which Wikipedia said was due out in 2010. He also performed multiple times as the ingenious Billy Flynn in Chicago on Broadway (as well as multiple tour locations). He acted briefly and won an Independent Spirit award for his work. He was Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher that one time. And because everything is connected to Disney in the pop world, Kevin used to work at Walt Disney World in Florida as a costume character. He was most notably Aladdin and one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He now has two kids and a lovely wife and he's touring and it's great and stuff.

---

 

Fun extras!

Favourite Music Video:


BSB on Sabrina the Teenage Witch:


Kevin Richardson getting Punk'd:

Get More:
Punk'd, Full Episodes

 

Challenge #1: Let's kick it...

Ok, so obviously I'm not the best at blogging.  As anyone who knows my family could tell you, we don't stick to timelines very well. I have to make n effort to get things done on time that aren't graded or required for me to get paid. That being said, I couldn't tell you how great an opportunity this is for me. While I don't write as well as Tanya, but I'm going to try to keep up a front of competency and mild wittiness for you guys.



Allow me to tell you a little bit about my week. I am currently sitting in an extremely noisy starbucks with about an hour until I have to walk over to work and start the autumn transitions. Which essentially means moving everything in the store around and somehow making it look pretty. By the time 11 o'clock rolls around, I'll be exhausted and have several bruises on my body, and Hallowe'en decor will be up. That's right! My job - which I can't name right now because they scour the internet looking for mentions (let's just call it Retailville) - puts up their Hallowe'en and autumn stuff in August. Early August. There are turkeys staring at us from all corners of the store for a good 4 months. My week is as busy as my last - I'm going to be working 13 hours a day at two jobs from Tuesday-Friday. Killer am I right? This isn't a ploy for sympathy or anything, I'm just saying I don't post a whole bunch because my life is pretty much the OC Transpo and working. That's it.

So Tanya's first challenge to me was to talk about myself - which I am the best at doing. I can't tell you how long it actually took me to figure out what to write in this tiny box. I don't know if it's interesting or relevant, but here is the list I came up with:

1. I post regularly on Tumblr. I have used this platform for almost 3 years because I hated writing - ironic, no? Tumblr breakdown: It allows people to post whatever they want in whatever medium they want. It's a great albeit consuming way to pass your time.

2. Also internet. While my brother is more of the computer tech/games guy, I am now somehow infamous for surfing the web like no other. I don't mean to be conceited, but a lot of people come to me for stupid and random information. It is not a great CV qualification or anything, but spending time online and reading articles is kind of how I like to spend my day when I don't have plans elsewhere. The amount of useless information I know is beyond cute. It's ridiculous.

3. I read. An excessive amount.

 You know how I alluded to the fact that I should bring a blanket with me on the bus, that is how little I am home to sleep? Yeah. Instead of napping like I probably should be I read. If I were to chose one thing I could do for the rest of my life, it would be reading. Don't ask me my favourite book, I never know it. It depends on the day; it depends on the mood; it depends on who I'm with at the time. Books are great because you can take yourself anywhere you want to go. People who know me well know for a fact that I will have a library in my house (I'm well stocked already) and it will be magnificent. Like, totally for sure.

4. I want to work here when I grow up:

This is the British Museum. It is in Britian.

Whenever that may be... I'll probably never get there, but hey, the journey is the best part!

5. I have 0$ all of the time. I can't decide if my spending habits are a genetic trait or not, but I have major problems.

6. I own a zombie cat... she's nice.

(Pre-zombie-virus)

7. Batman is my homeboy. He's pretty much got it all, and a hero complex to boot.

1. a. subpoint! The scarecrow and the joker are my favourite villains. They're completely effed up and I love it.

8. I graduated with a classics degree this spring. I guess I'm an alumnist now. That means I know stuff about other stuff that happened a long time ago to other people. Also more books and speculation and things. It's a pretty good time. To know more go here, here and here.

9. Despite #5, I really want to travel a bunch. More than a bunch. I would go into this a whole bunch more, but this post is already very very long and I only have another 15 minutes before I have to leave for work. Gotta keep up the pace!

10. I live with these two goobers:



12. If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life, it would probably be fusilli and homemade marinara sauce. Probably.

Yum.

13. Skirts and dresses are the bomb. So breezy and nice. I just bought two new ones today.

14. The Departed is my favourite movie. Especially this part:



15. I'm a caffeine addict. So much so that it has become an issue when I don't drink coffee. Withdraw pains are not a good time, bro. The first coffee I ever had was right before my grade 11 Calculus exam. My mom brought me to Starbucks and a powerful bond was formed. One which I have not been able to break in 7 years.



Ok! That's all I had time for. I was totally going to do my challenge stuff today, but I guess I'll have to sneak out tomorrow and work on all of this stuff before Tanya comes over. Civic holidays are super rad when you work for the federal government, let me tell you. DFTBA!

Longest Post EVER

Alright so because Crystal couldn't answer her Challenge she also wasn't able to post my challenge. So being the annoying monster I am I demanded she email me my challenge so that I don't have to miss my day just yet. Here is what she sent me:

Here it is:

 Hey Tanya – challenge time. Because I’m technologically impaired this week and am forced to limit my actions online, I can’t post my own entries. I guess I could, but it would be missing all of the bright and shiny gifs. And let’s face it, it’s the gifs that make me funny. I look forward to a semi-dreadful challenge to do next week to respond to my tardiness :D

I won’t miss out on YOUR challenge though. I’ve read your posts from the beginning and from them (and being your best friend) I know a lot about your current life. What I don’t know a lot about (lies) are your memories. So your challenge is this: Write to your readers about your top 5 memories. Good or bad, your description has to say why it was important to you/lasted with you all these years and whether or not it’s shaped the way you view things. Hopefully this is what you’re looking for!

 See ya later! DFTBA

 Crystal

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! (not that there is much of a choice)

I am going to try to do this by just memories I have without prompting them for pictures or home movies or anything. So I don't know how this will turn out. They likely won't be in any order of importance or anything and probably not as profound as her wording makes it sound like it should be - because let's be honest her I don't know if I am even capable of profound realizations. LETS GIVE IT A TRY !

Memory #1  - FIERCE.  (this is the longest memory ever I apologize - its so damn long I suggest you skip this if you have things to do)

Fierce is a book that Crystal and I wrote together I think three years ago now. It is among the weirdest stories to ever have been told in the written word. And here is how it happened. Crystal and I were wondering around a mall doing some Christmas shopping. I think it was mid November or something, I like to get it done early. I love me some Christmas. So we got into HomeSense, this fancy store that has all this home decor shenanigans and we are wandering around looking at all the stuff we want but can't afford when I come across this horse statue.  It was the angriest looking horse I have ever seen. I picked up the horse statue and snuck up behind Crystal and made a ghoulish gowling noise behind her waggling a horse in her face. She laughed it was great. We then left he horse there and moved one, while continuously making that noise at each other the rest of the day. We also joked about how we should get the angry horse for my sister Sandy, who is obsessed with horses. We couldn't really figure out if there would be any way to explain to Sandy why her Christmas gift was an angry horse statue so we just left it. I recall getting home and just not being able to get that stupid horse out of my head. I just kept thinking of all the things that I could see that horse doing in my head and they were all so hilarious that it just needed to happen. I then approached Crystal and insisted that she take all her time to help me with this. Because I am inconsiderate I guess. I convinced her that it would be so much fun and we would write a story about what would happen should Sandy fall through some weird portal into a parallel universe and meet this giant angry horse who would be named Fierce.

The absolute best part was the writing of this story. We went to Crystal's fancy apartment and had a laptop and a some paper. First we went through the list of weirdness that this creature would do, who they would meet and stuff that would happen. Because it was a story for Sandy we made it all inside jokes and relevant references. The basic story is that Sandy falls into a place called "Imaginariation Land" and anything you imagine there can happen. The problem is Sandy's imagination doesn't work properly so she has to have the help of a genie T-Pain who speaks in auto tune. She then loses her genie (I can't remember how I haven't read the story in a while) and she has to go find him. Then she encounters LOLcats, Neil Patrick Harris, Britney Spears, Jack Sparrow, Tim Curry, and last but not least, Crystal brother Kris who is a villain called The Primary Obstacle. Anyways its a ridiculous creation that is amazing for the four of us because we like to laugh at our own weird lives.

Anyways writing this story was the most hilarious experience of my life. It would involve long stretches of silence while one person typed madly away on a laptop while the other plotted stories in their mind each chuckling quietly to themselves. That was how it started at least. Once around 11 pm rolled around and I got to the chapter about the LOLcats I lost my shit. I was making myself laugh so hard with the stupidest of sentences. I think it was a mixture of caffeine, pizza, and crazy but I was practically in tears over one sentence in particular. I made Crystal wait until I finished the whole chapter and then made her read it. She joined me in the crazy land and we laughed. I think we wrote until 2 or 3 am, I can't remember if I stayed the night or went home but it was intense to say the least. We wrote almost the entire thing that one night. We had I think three or four more chapters to finish which we did another night of the same thing, pizza, caffeine, and especially crazy.

Then came the part when I had to take the cover photo. It was probably one of the weirder things I have ever done in my house alone (up until that point, since then I have probably done weirder things). I had this horse that I had went back for a few days later so that we could give it to Sandy with the book, just assuming she would understand the whole inside jokes, and I needed a nice cover picture. I had found this website (www.blurb.com) that you can make your own bookstore quality books and only print out as many as you need. So we were going to do that and order each of the four of us a copy for Christmas. But I wanted the book to look amazing so I took out this giant horse statue that I had tucked away and grabbed my fanciest camera and wandered around my house taking probably about a hundred pictures of an inanimate object. And it wasn't to be funny, I wanted it to have the best cover ever. I am one of those who often judges books by the cover so it had to be perfect. So I got the picture, edited the picture, and then surprised Crystal with it. I am pretty sure she liked it but I don't remember.

Then we sent the stuff in and waited patiently (pronounced anxiously) for it to arrive. When it finally came I literally danced in the post office. Which is incredibly awkward because it is also our convenience store in my tiny town and everyone saw as I flailed over a package. I opened it and immediately texted Crystal a picture of it and we were so exited.

Then came Christmas Eve. Us 4 cousins always get together on Christmas Eve (without fail I might add, since tradition began when Kris and Sandy were I think 17 or 18 we haven't missed one yet!) and then came time for Sandy to open her gift. I had wrapped it so that the giant horse would be on top of the book. Sandy like the ever diplomat she was picked it up and was like "ohhhh this is nice" because Crystal and I had been taunting her about how very excited we were for her to open her gift. So I think in her head she was thinking "wtf guys, a statue?" but as she was saying her confused thank you I pointed to under the horse and she pulled out our tiny novel (well around 100 pages) and she looked at the majestic cover art and clicked that that was the same horse, and then she saw the by line that said: By Tanya and Crystal. And she was all "You wrote me a book!?" and then she cried because she was so offended that we thought she would like it. No I am kidding. She was laughing and happy and loved it. And then we got Kris to open his and Crystal and I pulled ours from where we stashed them and Crystal and I spent the most embarrassing 2 hours reading out loud to them our weird pizza-fever book that was written in the middle of the night. I must say, everything is funnier in the middle of the night, but it held up and was still funny to them.

So that's that memory. It is so damn long. The rest will be shorter I think because this is like half a novel right here. But why it was important to me was it will forever be the first novel I wrote. If in some stroke of luck I ever become a well-known author or if dreams come true and I'm a New York Times bestseller, the first book I would have written (outside of the picture book I wrote in grade eight) will be a book in which T-pain was a genie. No one can take that away from me. It was amazing and probably one of the most fun times I have ever had in my life over the course of a month and a half. PS - one of my favorite parts of this was we knew Sandy wouldn't know who T-Pain was so we had to make her watch a few music videos of his to understand. She wasn't pleased when we put a bunch on her facebook wall because her students could see.

[caption id="attachment_430" align="aligncenter" width="541"] This is it! No you cannot read it.[/caption]

are you still with me? I am so sorry about that. If you skipped it I will hold nothing against you. I just skipped it in editing and I know that's a bad plan. It's just so damn long.

Memory #2 - Burger Belly in Niagara Falls.

These will be so much shorter I swear! This happened when I tagged along on a road trip to Niagara Falls with my Aunty and her girls Chels and Colleen. We got there and were staying in a hotel over looking the falls and it was awesome. We then saw the ferris wheel and it looked pretty close so we decided to walk there instead of drive adn have to worry about parking. We started walking and it just kept being so far. It was like a good hour - two hour walk. . Anyways so we walked and did all the fun stuff liek teh wax museum and they did a haunted house while I drank frozen lemonade and listened to Colleen scream from outside. Then we went for dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. Now I am sure classy people will be all "that so not fancy" but to me it is probably the best place ever. It is so fun. There are robot-animals and delicious hamburgers. I am sorry but there is very little else I need in the world. Anyways I think we all got burgers, but as we ate them Chels and I got full. These burgers weren't even that expensive but just the knowledge that they don't have them in our city, and the fact that they cost money and they are just about the most delicious burger in the universe we forced them down. We were both so full and it hurt so much. We were in so much actual pain it was ridiculous. And we also knew we likely wouldn't be getting back down to the views we were at so we had to take a bunch of pictures in front of the falls while we had burger bellies. We took the best sad picture ever but it is on my other computer that is currently broken. Then we had to walk the forever length walk back to the hotel with the full bellies. At least by the time we got back it started to settle but I still to this day have never been that full.

Was this a good memory or a bad memory... not sure. Why has it lasted... well because I like to eat a lot and its a problem. So I often like to remember the times when I was so dumb and kept eating until I almost exploded my body. This memory is in no way profound.

Memory #3 - Driving Lessons with Dad

So I have a bit of an unconventional story of learning to drive that is very long that I won't really get into now. Let's just sya the first vehicle I drove was a piece of heavy machinery. Anyways, a specific memory I have of learning to drive real cars was when my dad used to take me driving on all the back roads when I was I think 14 or 15 before I had my license. We went back out to this dirt road that my friend lived on that followed the edge of a river. My dad made me put my hand at "12:oo" on the steering wheel and close my eyes. He then would direct my driving by telling me what hour to turn my steering to. I obviously didn't go that fast because I knew if we got out of control we would be swimming in a gross river but in all honesty I wasn't so scared because if there is anyone in the world I feel safe in a car with its my dad. anyways, I should mention I am an impeccable driver. And almost always do it with my eyes open now.

this was a great memory. I spent hours driving around with my dad back then and it was so fun. I learned a lot of the back roads really well and learned how to backup using only the side mirrors going 80k on a gravel road. Why its important is I always loved spending time with my dad and its stuck with me because it seems like everyone tries so hard to be such a grown up and its exhausting. Anytime I want to be around someone who is just a giant man child in the best possible way I go see him and have the best time.

Memory #4 - Wedding Burgers and chips

Apparently my mind is really set on burgers today because the next memory is going to be really quick but again relies around burgers and chips. Alright so my mom used to be a wedding photographer and I was her assistant. I went to probably over a hundred weddings between grade eight and the summer after grade 12. almost every weekend some summers I would go to a wedding with mom and help as she took pictures. The most important parts of going to these weddings were as follows: A good bag of Lays regular chips, and Lunch. The chips were always simple, a bag of chips that would be gone likely before we even got there which was always impressive because neither of us would remember eating that much. The tricky part about Lunch was sometimes the weddings would be happening around lunch time. When your working at a wedding there is hardly any time to eat, especially if it was happening around eating times. So sometimes we would find it being like 10am on our way to a wedding and we would know we would have zero time to eat until 7 or 8 pm. This is how we learned Wendy's opens early and doesn't bother with breakfast. It got to the point where the lady at the drive through window at Wendy's knew us. That's a new low. Or high... depends on your opinions I guess.

This was my job for all of high school. It was a fun job and I always enjoyed it once I was there. Sometimes you would get overwhelmed and have taffeta nightmares but those have passed. It sticks to me this day because I am really hungry and really want one of those Wendy's Pretzel burgers super bad.

Memory #5 - Fezz

I had this cat that came with the house my parents bought when I was ten. He was the most gross creature I have ever owned and I loved that thing so much. He was a very sickly cat, he even had to go live with our family friend who was a vet who brought him back to life as he was half dying. I really don't know why he was so sick, although I have read things that cats are often times allergic to hay so that makes them get all sneezy in barns. Either way I loved him so much. He was pretty much mute even though he would still try to meow all the time. He was always full of matts and burrs and just in general did not take care of himself. He was the laziest creature and was basically like a living rag doll when you picked him up. He would always sit in the window and stare at us from outside (he was a barn cat) and if you put your hand near the window he would try to rub his head on it thereby hitting his head every time. Also he had this sneezing issue and would sneeze all over the glass of the windows so they were constantly needing to be cleaned of Fezz-boogers. Anyway he was gross and awesome and the best cat ever. I don't have many good pictures of him because he was not photogenic and also because my computer with all my pictures is broken but I have one that is in the good ol fashioned format of paper so hold I will take a picture of it now!

[caption id="attachment_431" align="aligncenter" width="933"] Grossest most amazing cat to ever sneeze in your face.[/caption]

He was a great cat as gross as he is. I am starting to think Winston might just be Fezz reincarnated. without all the boogers... Although he does sneeze on me sometimes. Anyways Fezz is important and will always be. He was technically my first pet! We had one cat before and other dogs but they were never just mine. Fezz was "mine".

Alright this has gone on long enough. It is over 3000 words and none of your are paying attention anymore and if you are... why?

CRYSTAL REFOCUS HERE!

Your challenge will be lengthy. You see, you still owe us a list of 15 things about yourself to introduce you to us. That is important and I would like that to still happen first. Secondly, you require a punishment for missing your deadline for challenge day. That will come in a minute. First I will explain your Second Challenge

CHALLENGE #2: you must pick one member of the backstreet boys and write me a short biography about them. You must include their basic facts and information about their career. Then you must tell us WHY you chose this particular member of the backstreet boys and then include your favorite music video (if possible or at the very least a link to said music video) that highlights them in some way. Insightful right? Told you I am not profound.

PUNISHMENT#1: For your punishment you can choose between the following:

• OPTION A- post an photo of yourself as a young lady. It can't be an adorable picture because we all know you were the cutest child, you would have to post something awkward.


• OPTION B- you would have to answer the challenge you gave to me (provide 5 memories good/bad and tell us why they are important)


• OPTION C - take a picture or yourself with a post-it stuck to your forehead that reads as follows: I AM UNTIMELY AND I APOLOGIZE.

So I want all these things by Monday! If you want to post tomorrow to catch up on your Challenge#1 / punishment you can, Challenge 2 is for Monday though. also I don't think your internet is fixed yet anyhow.

Sorry that this post is a billion years long. Next time I will try not to waste your time so much.

Bye Crystal! DFTBA!

 

Precedent and Expectations

Hello all.

As previously mentioned in the post prior to this I said Crystal and I needed to discuss rules. Now, instead of doing this in blog form we ended up doing it over email and text messages. This is basically how it went down:

Tanya - OHEMMGEE SO EXCITED CAN'T WAIT UNTIL YOU COME PLAY WITH ME IN THE INTERNET LAND!

Crystal - *cringes* please calm yourself

Tanya - I AM TOTALLY CALM!

Crystal - why are you internet yelling?

Tanya - THIS IS MY INDOOR INTERNET VOICE!

Crystal - Maybe we shouldn't do this.

Tanya - *cries*

Crystal - ugh fine.

Tanya - HOORAY!

Now this is more or less what happened. only ... less. Crystal has not yet at all suggested she backs out. We even took the time to craft up a lovely schedule to make this all the more interesting. By interesting, I mean commitment filled.



So this is our schedule. Monday and Thursdays are Challenge Days. Monday, Crystal responds to a challenge and provides me with a challenge and Thursday I respond and provide hers and round and round until we run out of ideas. Tuesday and Saturday are my random days and Wednesdays and Fridays are Crystal's random days - they may get actual designations later should we decide so in the future. Sundays we have off because no one needs to read this craziness seven days a week. Also, we are lazy.

It makes more sense if you look at the color coding I think. But yes, I am thinking that perhaps I will eventually make my other days have a meaning but to do that I will need to first get the hang of this stuff and see what kind of challenges Crystal provides. Can't really have my alternate days stepping on the toes of the magical challenges otherwise it defeats the purpose.

Now, I know what you are all saying: "But Tanya, yesterday was Monday and Crystal has yet to respond to your initial challenge, being that it is now TUESDAY is there not some kind of punishment for her failing to meet her obligation?" and to that I say, Why yes mysterious goody-goody, Crystal did in fact miss her deadline. And yes, we have discussed the need for punishments/bonus challenges should we miss our days. The problem is, I don't know what kind of excuses are valid. You see we had only made the schedule yesterday while she was at work so she expected to be able to answer when she got home. She even started it, I can see there is a draft, however her internet wasn't really working so she couldn't get things to work properly.

So I ask you, the internet, do we let it slide this time because it is the first time or does that set a bad precedent for future tardiness? Also Crystal, opinions? Seeing as how you would be getting the punishment I suppose you may be bias however if it were me what would you prefer? Also, please answer the challenge soon so that I have time to prepare for whatever glamorous and exciting challenge you have developed for me.

Anyways, let us know if you have any opinions on things we should do with our random days or suggested punishments for Crystal. Seriously Crystal, we are so happy you are here... by we I mean me. SO HAPPY! I am calm I swear.