Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Or Maybe Not.

Please find below my horoscope from the free paper today:
A change in your work routine coming your way. You'll get to take on more responsibility. Or maybe not. Appreciate your mate's uniqueness. Don't ask for any favors now.

Really? Or maybe not. WTF is that shit?

You give me these promises of new responsibilities and a more exciting job just to be like, or your life will continue on the same forever you idiot.

Now I don't believe in horoscopes. Especially those from the free paper. I mean, unless they say something awesome like "Hey Tanya, you think you have been doing a crappy job at life so look three pages further for a free $100000 cheque." That almost never happens though, and if it did, someone had already taken the cheque. Greedy assholes.

Who writes these things though? I don't even understand. It's just a collection of two-three fortune cookie sentences that make absolutely no sense. Or maybe not.

You can add that on to any sentence and then instantly you are no longer responsible if something doesn't go according to plan. I guess this only works with horoscopes because in the rest of the world this wouldn't fly.


Doctor: "Here is your baby all cleaned up out of the womb! It's a boy! Or maybe not."

Mechanic: "Here are your keys! I changed the oil, rotated the tires and replaced the break lines. Or maybe not."

Babysitter: "Your kid is perfectly safe with me! Or maybe not."

Accountant: "I paid the bills. Or maybe not."

I think the only people who can get away with it are the creative people. Like me... I could say "This blog post is finished..... OR MAYBE NOT!" and then go on for another three hours about useless crap which I know you will all love so much because you like me... or maybe not...

Today is so filled with confusion now. All day every time someone says something I am going to be thinking... or maybe not. I cannot wait to go home and hide from the world where I get to appreciate "the uniqueness of my mate". I am pretty sure that's astrologist for: He will do something annoying or weird and I will have to pretend it normal.

I will make a separate post shortly about the exciting news I have for you all! Or maybe not....(But I probably will)



1 comment:

  1. We all appreciate Dave's *uniqueness* lol !! horoscopes have a way of telling you what you want to hear... or maybe not... you do want an awesome new job, but not really because you'd prefer to be at home in your sweat pants writing more fun books right? LOL and p.s. you can ask me for a favour anytime - no matter what you horoscope says ! xoxoxo Love Mom


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