Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Today is a very fancy day for some. You get to wear costumes and act goofy and people give you free candy because of really strange social conventions.

For me however, it is Nanowrimo Eve.

I start my month of literary abandon tomorrow. I wish I didn't have to work. There is going to be such miniscule levels of focus tomorrow. My head will be in the land I created last year and am following up on this year.

I am pretty excited. However, my theory was that because two years ago I, along with my lovely co-author Crystal, wrote the really weird and fabulous instant best seller "Fierce" as a christmas gift for Sandy, and then last year I wrote "Pentagonia" for Crystal (less awesome but longer by a lot because it was my first Nano book and I was a super keener), this year it should be Kris' turn to get a book.

See, every year on Christmas Eve Kris, Crystal, Sandy and I gather and have a fabulous time eating pizza, playing Mario Kart and doing other dorky things. We exchange gifts and they are aways awesome and random and fun. This book theory has taken it up a notch on my creative skills. I get to think of not only a card size story, but a whole book. And then I get to design the Cover, and also some kind of attached gift. (Sandy got the ever awesome Fierce statue, Crystal got the Key to Pentagonia, Kris will get something which I can't say in case he ever reads this.) He already knows about the book I think.

My main problem is he hasn't read the second in the "series" which changes style dramatically from the first. Oh well. Even if he hates it I am still going to write it.

I was working on editing the last one a bit yesterday. Holy moly do I feel bad trying to force people to read that. Which makes me feel a bit awkward about giving them as gifts... Sorry cousins... I mean well...

I love how I came here to discuss Halloween and instead I am talking about Christmas. Go me?

I am not really a big Halloween person. I dressed up this year and had fun at Crystal's party or pre-party or whatever it was. My costume turned out decent and Crystals costume turned out awesome and Dave's was intensely cheesy and together we were the coolest Batman, Riddler and Two-face EVER. Probably... I mean, we must be right?

Anyways, this has gotten horribly off track so I should go.

Happy Halloween!

[caption id="attachment_198" align="alignnone" width="2592"] something here is off...[/caption]

 

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

100!

That's right folks. we are at 100 posts. If you have read all of them, you deserve a medal or knighthood or something. Perhaps I will have a Yellow Shoes Knighting ceremony. Me and the queen are no longer on speaking terms so it's not like she would help me. Even though the only people to have read any/all of these are most likely related to me, it's still nice to have been read - and it's still fun to write.

I tried to think up something momentous and awesome to celebrate this fine day but my brain is a bit snoozy. Also distracted. Today I had to go to the mall which was an endeavour. It really shouldn't have been, however I only have an hour and I had a lot to do and a hurt ankle so the fast-walking I usually do was uncomfortable.

In the mall, I was mildly amused/upset at the sight of American Apparel. This is not a store I ever shop at mostly because I have no money and also because I don't think I have ever even been in their store. But ni their window displayed as what I can only hope are Halloween costumes (you can never be sure with the hipsters everywhere) was the outfits of the girls of Sailor Moon.

Sailor Moon, one of my favourite TV shows in the 90s, reborn in what can be assumed is a very expensive form of sketchy things. The people who shop there are probably too young to know who they are. Which will make it really annoying. I hardly remember the show... which makes me really sad. I would try to find it on the internet however I believe the Canadian version was edited a lot and I have no interest in the non-edited one as I heard it was inappropriate.

So, other than that I found what I went for: A Green Blazer for my Riddler costume. This is a really boring post for the 100th. Oh you know what! IDEA! I am going to take this exciting day to announce my little plan!

Now, as you know if you are a knighted reader, Luis is my attack squirrel if you are new and are thinking I am crazy, you are probably right wrong! Please read this post first and then come back.

You back/Aware of Luis? Good.

Now, for part of Luis rehabilitation program I have told him he needs to help society. How will an attack squirrel help society you ask? Well, other than acting as my menacing body-guard, Luis will be starting is own advice column. Send your questions to askluis@yellowshoesnithecity.com about anything life, love, appropriate quantity of food to store in your tree, you know the basics, and Luis will answer you soon. Also, don't worry about identity, it will be all kept secret. (I am having problems setting up Luis' email so give me a few hours before you send anything).

Alright? So, Happy 100th people! Thanks for reading! Here is to 100 more!

[caption id="attachment_193" align="alignnone" width="2592"] Who doesn't trust the advice of an angry squirrel dressed like Sailor Moon? Email askluis@yellowshoesinthecity.com with your questions![/caption]

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Sandwich Bus

Good Afternoon my fellow internet-lovers.

I have discovered a new way to make the day not so terrible. You see, while I know my job sucks and that there is so few opportunities in he world, I still feel as though I need to take some time each day to relax. By relax, I mean take a lunch break. Before, I was spending my lunches looking for jobs on all the boring work posting sites , all of which just make me hate myself more and more each second. Now, well the last two days, I have discovered a much more pleasant place to go.

Tim Hortons.

Yes, as a Canadian I already knew the appeal. Warm beverages, tasty treats, and now free Wifi. However, as an employee I have only just discovered the need to take my lunch break. See, I didn't ever used to go anywhere at my last job. The main and most important difference between this job and that job: I used to have a door on my cubicle.

Now I have no door. I have no privacy. The guy beside me gets up to go to the printer every ten minutes, each time staring at my computer screen. I think at lunch time we are probably allowed to wander the internet, however I don't need grandpa beside me knowing my business.

I miss having a door. I can't get away with pulling out my lunch and eating quietly in the comfort of my own office because now, people may come in at any given time without knocking or warning.

So yesterday I ventured downstairs and across the street and sat in the timmies with my Nanowrimo note-book and a hot chocolate. Even though its slightly noisy there and full of people, it was still more relaxing. Being anywhere but at work is enough to calm my poor brain down enough to make it through the last few hours of the day. It also allowed me to finish planning my Nano novel, and make a plan to bring my netbook to work with me all of November and go there to write at lunch time.

I want to beat last years time. I got to 50,000 words by day 14. I must beat it. I kind of doubt it because the added bonus of procrastinating for school is no longer a factor, however I am going to try anyways!

At least it will give me some better highlights to my day that don't involve the bus smelling like old sandwiches. I mean, I am not sure how you can get much better then a sandwich bus, but I guess a writing hideout wins. If the bus started to serve FRESH sandwiches then maybe he would pull back up in front. However, that seems unlikely as my bus can't even manage to arrive at its designated time.

This ended up pretty long for not having anything to say...

[caption id="attachment_169" align="alignnone" width="2592"]Luis brightens your day Luis works the sandwich bus as part of his rehabilitation program. One day he will learn to be considerate of others. One day.[/caption]

Friday, October 19, 2012

Squirrel Attack

Hello everyone!

I didn't update yesterday due to a traumatic event that happened to me.

You see, like the anti-social monster I am, when I am invited to work functions I immediately find a way out of it. Yesterday was no different, except that Karma bit me in the ass.

I fled the building prior to the commencement of the cupcake party and headed towards the rexall so I could get bus tickets and hopefully poptarts. I wandered around there for a while, attempting to kill time so that I wouldn't arrive back at work half way through their cupcake party because while leaving before the party is a bit rude, showing up halfway through is even worse. I think, I wouldn't really know because I am too socially stupid to understand proper cues. Anyways, I wandered, found poptarts, got my bus tickets and then decided to go sit in the food court area so I could sit and write for a while.

Then I remembered I had no pen because I unloaded them all at work so I would have some of my good pens to use. I was still going to go sit down but as I approached the food court it was completely full. Also it was really loud so I would be useless there.

I walked back to my building but it was still too soon to go in because there was no way they would be done cupcake-ing yet. I awkwardly sat on an empty bench outside and started texting anyone who I could hope to be awake and not too busy so that I wouldn't just be sitting and staring blankly at the outdoors. That is acceptable in places where there is nature and pretty things to look at. Not downtown where all you can look at is Tim Horton's and a woman coughing.

This is when it happened. As I was texting people who weren't answering, I was viciously attacked. Not only was I viciously attacked, but it was by a murderous squirrel. Traumatic I know.

Here is how it happened. As I sat there minding my own business, a large brown squirrel ran up directly from under my seat. I was lucky enough to have been sitting cross-legged on my bench because its comfy. He stopped just in front of the bench so that I could see him, he turned to me and growled. Simply the warning from what was to come. Then, I suppose because I hadn't run away as he had suggested with the menacing growl, it leapt at my throat. Teeth reached my skin and dug in. It held on solidly as I flailed to remove its death grip on my jugular vein. I could feel my life slipping away as the blood poured over the creature. Apparently the blood was more than it could take as I heard it beginning to choke on the excess liquid invading its throat and nostrils. It let go for only a moment to spit out some of the blood and in that moment I was able to bring all my energy to my left arm and reach across and grab him by the throat. I held the bloody creature by the throat watching it struggle against my strength. However, despite its attempt on my life I couldn't kill it. I couldn't harm another living creature (other than bugs because they suck). I took the squirrel to find a cage and seek medical attention for my jugular vein. He will be rehabilitated and kept as an attack squirrel for my enemies. Luckily he choked in enough time that I didn't die. I believe I will name him Luis (pronounced Loo-eece).

So, you see this is why I could not post yesterday as I was obviously busy. You may not believe this actually happened but let me ask you this: How on Earth could any one be so weird as to think of this story in a sitting? Clearly it must have happened. No one could possibly be that strange right.

As for the scar on my throat, I had a special doctor who was able to glue all my skin back so the scar will not be noticeable and all the healing will be under the skin flap. What a genius.

So, I would like to introduce you all to my new pet Attack Squirrel, Luis:

[caption id="attachment_159" align="alignnone" width="2592"]The Attack Squirrel So don't mess with me. (PS I only looked up the proper spelling after I had already drawn this picture so ignore the O apparently that makes it pronounced wrong.)[/caption]

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Focus

Today is the official Nanowrimo Prep day.

The good thing is I already started plotting out my november novel.

The bad thing is I keep getting distracted from it and can't focus meaning there is no conclusion yet.

Here is how my brain is working lately:

Me: Oh, I have some time to myself! Perhaps I should finish plotting out my Nanowrimo novel for this year.

Brain: Or you could try to eat an entire freezer cake in one sitting.

Me: Well I think as nice as that sounds, that is not really healthy behaviour. Instead I will focus my energy on something that is beneficial to me and will hopefully one day help me in my desired career path.

Brain: Or, you could colour with every colour of crayon and pick your top 15 colours.

Me: Well that sure sounds enticing, but again not productive. I want to write real books one day, and even though Nanowrimo isn't about quality it is an excellent tool that I can use to get used to the structure of stories.

Brain: Or, you can spend hours contemplating the complexities of the galaxy and try to decipher the meaning of life.

Me: Well that sounds interesting, however I am in no position to decide on the meaning of life at this time of my existence. I haven't been alive all that long so any decision I made about the meaning of said life would be irrelevant. Instead I shall delve into an imaginary world where I am the creator and can decide the meaning of everything in existence.

Brain: Or, you can watch hours of television shows on the internet.

Me: Good call Brain. I do like TV. But... I should probably still plot out my novel.

Brain: WTF man. Just stop. You know your eventually going to give into my sick and twisted ideas of productive why are you taking so long to decide which?

Me: *smiles evilly*

Brain: Oh my goodness, you tricked me! All along you were stalling the decision of your procrastination. You are truly a professional at this I must declare.

Me: Thank you. Now activate these colouring fingers while I eat cake and watch hours of TV online all while secretly attempting to decode the meaning of life in my head.

Brain: Excellent. *turns on autopilot*

Meanwhile, in another part of my mind:

Desire to accomplish goals: Crap.

So the moral of the story today is: Your brain doesn't always have your best interest at heart. Most of the time its just lazy and doesn't like to talk to the Desire to accomplish goals portion. That guys a real whiner.

[caption id="attachment_156" align="alignnone" width="2592"] if only my brain would let the desire to accomplish goals take over, he may get a bigger vocabulary.[/caption]

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

October 16th

So apparently it is already October 16th. Which means three things:

  1.  I somehow missed the entire summer and most of the fall

  2. My Grammie's birthday was yesterday and I failed to call

  3. It is my sister's birthday today.


We will go through these three points in further detail now.

1: WTF time. How did it become half way through October already? I think I must have fallen into a two month-long coma that everyone is failing to tell me. It feels like yesterday I was reading four textbooks at once trying to cram for exams and now all the sudden I am done school and its getting cold out? What happened. I am so not ready for winter. apparently if I blink to hard months pass so I will try to be careful and not miss Christmas.

2. Happy Birthday Grammie! I am so sorry I haven't called you yet. I do have something for you however it is not large. I need to print out your card still which will feature something adorable maybe and I will drop it off on the weekend when I have my car! (Not that its missing but Dave has it at work which makes it tricky and by the time he's home I am half asleep in my sweatpants unfit to drive due to laziness.)

3. Sandy turns 26 today. Who is Sandy? Well that is a silly question. Sandy is my big sister. You should know that because if you are reading this chances are you are related to both of us. Hi Mom. But for those strange and glorious folks who somehow found this and are not a blood relative, Sandy is my older sister who I must say is pretty fancy.

You see, Sandy and I have not always gotten along perfectly. I think that's a normal sister thing. I watched a home movie when I was home sick the other day and at Sandy's grade 8 graduation ceremony, as I held the camera she walked by me and says "You're going to die" in a threatening tone. This occurred often, however not so obviously caught on tape.

In recent years, now that we are much less moody (or at least we now know moodiness is cured by chocolate) I seem to receive less death threats unless in the context of a video game or board game.

The important thing that I would like to say about Sandy on this the anniversary of her complicated birth, is that I am very proud of her. Sandy has changed a lot in the last however many years since high school. I guess its 8 years for her? I might be wrong. But in that time Sandy has decided what she wanted to do and more importantly, actually gone for it. Even if I sometimes don't understand why or how she manages to do certain things, she makes it look easy to follow your dreams. She works very hard, I know, however she gets to do what she loves every day and I can't wait until I get the point of confidence that she has that I can abandon the easy path and face all my fears of trying to make my dreams come true with the ever-present likelihood that I might fail. She is always one of the first to be supportive and encourages me to follow through with the things I spend years planning. So, Sandy, this is a big blurb of gushing but I wanted to say thank you for being almost annoying optimistic and for having a weird amount of faith in everything you do even when it seems risky. And more importantly thanks for having faith in me!

SO.

That's enough of that.

Moral of the story is: This year is going by too fast, my grammie is cooler than yours, and my Sister is a grown up now in theory and thats strange.

Oh! And more important moral: I now have an excuse to eat cake. (Dear Sandy: We should get together some time to consume cake anad play Mario Kart. I don't care if your a grown up, you still have to play with me!)

Here are the Part 1's to both the birthday girl's gifts. A lovely original Yellow Shoes Post-it art:

 

[caption id="attachment_150" align="alignnone" width="2592"] a Pirate Unicorn for Sandy[/caption]

 

 

[caption id="attachment_151" align="alignnone" width="2592"] A Pirate Kitty for Grammie! There's a theme apparently.[/caption]

 

Monday, October 15, 2012

Pathetic...

Still sick.At any moment today, I may fall asleep. This wouldn't be so awful if I weren't at work and trying to make a good impression. I am eating a ridiculous quantity of sugar at the moment to hopefully will my sickness away with sprinkled donuts.

 Normally colds don't bug me too much, well sort of they always bug me, however this one is particularly crappy. Probably because I have very little reason to force myself to buck up and be healthy. I don't need to be active for my job and it's not like I have a crazy booming social life. Although I did get to hang out with Crystal all day on Saturday and get her good and sick. I was much better at avoiding illnesses when I was busy. I could just simply not get sick. I would start to get sick, feel the tickle in the throat and sniffle in the nose, however I could simply stop being sick and instead go to work or school or write a paper on something I had researched poorly.Now that I am a boring grown up I have no reason to not be sick so my awesome sick-avoiding powers are going to waste.

Enough of that gibber-jabber whiney crap.

 I still don't know what I am doing with this new website. I tried a few different templates but none would let me change very important parts to be what I wanted or when I finally got them to change something else would mess up that I didn't mean to do. So for now this is what you get. Hopefully one day I can figure out how to make it look pretty, or the sizes so I can draw a nicer background or something. Moral of the story is that I suck at computers.So other than the annoying impossible template issue, yesterday I was surprised by a phone call. 9:45 PM my home phone rings. I knew it wasn't for me as it is never for me because A) no one I know ever calls me B)No one knows my home phone number. However the phone was beside me so I answered it assuming it was one of Dave's friends. It was not. It was a telemarketer. At almost 10PM. This may not sound bad to you "young folks" however because I apparently aged 40 years on my last birthday that is pretty late. Especially for annoying phone calls I don't want to participate in.

I feel like I may be the most bitter and cynical 24-year-old on this side of the Earth. It seems really pathetic to me that in what is apparently supposed to be my "prime" I go to bed before 10pm and think an exciting night involves new episodes of television and some freezer cake.  How sad is that? I don't even have any freezer cake left...

So summary of this post: My life is really unimpressive and looks really pathetic. Every justification I make in my head just makes it even more pathetic. Oh boy.

 

[caption id="attachment_143" align="alignnone" width="2592"] goodbye will to live. hello obesity.[/caption]

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Dear Everyone

Hi!

As you may have noticed, this is looking a little different. You see, I have invested in a new website thinger so I own my own Domain and what this involves is apparently trying to build an entirely new website out of thin air and knowledge I do not possess. What this means for you is, annoying daily changes and confusing new ways to read this. Hopefully I figure this out sooner rather than later and without having to buy anything... I just wanted my website to be fancy and instead I have just become completely confused and have no idea how to do anything. I am not even sure if or how to post this apology to you.  I also have no idea how to add pictures in a post so this one won't have a picture but it will have a promise.

I promise I will try my best to fix this site and make it pretty. Hopefully soon because I am so confused. Please don't abandon me now! You've come this far!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Ugh

This is harder than I anticipated. Not the drawing stuff, as long as I have an idea I am golden. I did not see the inconvenience of not being able to sit up long enough to stay at my big computer. I drew the first two pictures and then I got a crazy migraine and needed to sleep for an hour. Awesome right?

Oh well I will give you the remaining 8 pictures soon enough.

So much for starting to exercise and start eating healthy this week. It was all planned. Now anything more solid than mashed potatoes feels like death. Stupid Dave. Always getting me sick.

On the sad side I now have gotten through all the seasons of Gilmore Girls. Which is sad on so many levels. most of all because its over and it really doesn't end super well. I think Crystal told me that they weren't intending on the last episode being the last episode so that sucks. I hate when good shows are cancelled before they end properly.

I need a new show to watch now.

Mostly because it is apparently horror movie season and the commercials alone scare me.

It is almost Halloween. I don't usually like it because its spooky and people try to scare me and its easy and I hate it. However we started decorating outside and it looks nice so far. We aren't done yet because Dave is in a war with the neighbours on spookiness.  all because last year he did nothing but turn on a fog machine and the wind took all his fog onto the neighbours much spookier graveyard scene. This year so far we have a skeleton and a mini graveyard and some spooky skulls. Needs some work. Also we need light. In the dark you can't see any of our stuff. Makes it a little useless.

Anyways I am going to go for now and try not to explode my disease everywhere.

Ugh

This is harder than I anticipated. Not the drawing stuff, as long as I have an idea I am golden. I did not see the inconvenience of not being able to sit up long enough to stay at my big computer. I drew the first two pictures and then I got a crazy migraine and needed to sleep for an hour. Awesome right?

Oh well I will give you the remaining 8 pictures soon enough.

So much for starting to exercise and start eating healthy this week. It was all planned. Now anything more solid than mashed potatoes feels like death. Stupid Dave. Always getting me sick.

On the sad side I now have gotten through all the seasons of Gilmore Girls. Which is sad on so many levels. most of all because its over and it really doesn't end super well. I think Crystal told me that they weren't intending on the last episode being the last episode so that sucks. I hate when good shows are cancelled before they end properly.

I need a new show to watch now.

Mostly because it is apparently horror movie season and the commercials alone scare me.

It is almost Halloween. I don't usually like it because its spooky and people try to scare me and its easy and I hate it. However we started decorating outside and it looks nice so far. We aren't done yet because Dave is in a war with the neighbours on spookiness.  all because last year he did nothing but turn on a fog machine and the wind took all his fog onto the neighbours much spookier graveyard scene. This year so far we have a skeleton and a mini graveyard and some spooky skulls. Needs some work. Also we need light. In the dark you can't see any of our stuff. Makes it a little useless.

Anyways I am going to go for now and try not to explode my disease everywhere.

2/10

Unicorn eating Icecream



2/10

Unicorn eating Icecream



1/10

Alligator playing the Banjo.

P.s. when I promised you ten pictures I did not give you any indication of quality.

1/10

Alligator playing the Banjo.

P.s. when I promised you ten pictures I did not give you any indication of quality.

Brace Yourself

Hello folks! What is this, Tanya on a weekday during work hours? She hasn't done this in weeks! Why, what is the meaning of this! Well she is sick. Sick as all goodness. My throat feels of sand paper and razor blades.

So what does that mean? A DAY FULL OF PICTURES! I promised you ten pictures you will get pictures!

So brace yourself ... today is going to get weird.

Brace Yourself

Hello folks! What is this, Tanya on a weekday during work hours? She hasn't done this in weeks! Why, what is the meaning of this! Well she is sick. Sick as all goodness. My throat feels of sand paper and razor blades.

So what does that mean? A DAY FULL OF PICTURES! I promised you ten pictures you will get pictures!

So brace yourself ... today is going to get weird.

Monday, October 8, 2012

I am back.

Alright I am back.

I know I didn't earn a break because I am not important or anything but I needed a little one while my body adjusted to a new life-source sucking chair.

That's right ladies, gentlemen and grandparents: I started my new job two weeks ago now and it sucks just as much if not more then the other one. Hurray. The new job is one of those jobs that has consistent things to do, however the options are really like choosing between a stab in the eye or a punch in the throat. I won't complain too much about it right now because I have other things to complain about, which is why you are all here right, to let me vent my obnoxious whining about my life that probably isn't as bad as I think it is? no? you just were sent here accidentally looking for something about "Rocket Powered Shoes", "Powered by Sweatpants" and my personal favourite, "Bear eating a Taco". Well those will come soon. (P.S. those are some of the search terms that people have used to find my blog. Not making that shit up. Sometimes I love the Internet so hard.)

So, you want to know what else has been happening to me lately?

Well on Thursday my phone died. Tragedy. I was looking forward to lastly the entire three years with one cell phone. I had 5 months left. I made it 2 years and 7 months with the same cell phone and I was in no way sick of it. However out of nowhere, as I was sitting doing my job enthusiastically as possible, a low rumble started to vibrate across my desk. looking down I became afraid. Shifting ever so slightly, my phone moved towards me. The noises slowly grew louder, building and building, finally erupting in a blood curdling cry of pain and horror. As the screaming grew even louder lights began to fill the spaces between the keys. Blue light was shooting out of all the joints. As I pick up my phone I could see that it was not simple blue light, but a flame. I held my phone up off the surface and looked at it as the plastic melted. As the seams split a figure emerged. A small blue dragon unwrapped its wings like a butterfly free of its cocoon. Flapping its wings into my face it hissed one last blue flame into my eyes and flew off into the office.

Needless to say I spent my Thursday lunch time trying to get a new phone. The guy working there was clearly all into IPhone and kept trying to sell me the most obnoxiously large phones they had. Its either that boys don't understand that girl pockets are smaller and therefore do not have room for the larger phones, or they simply don't care. Also, when I say: I would like my exact phone but the newer one" I do not mean, "Please try to convince to buy something I never wanted so that I will have to learn an entirely new interface and shave down 90% of my thumbs because that's the only way a touch screen keyboard will even work for me." I left with the phone I wanted. With a pretty sweet deal. Bringing in my old phone got me a trade in value of 60$ because you know, official dragons releasing raises value, and my new phone was only 30$ with a new contract which I don't mind because I like my phone company enough. So basically moral of the story is that I win. New phone is fancy.

There is one really big loss with getting a new phone that I didn't think of. I was all concerned and worried about getting my pictures and contacts off my phone that I didn't think about the even more crucial and important thing: My notes. Blackberry's have this little notepad thing that you can keep all these notes. I had a bunch of them. Most importantly to you one filled of all my ideas I have for blog posts. Sometimes they are really cryptic like: guy at bus stop spits, but sometimes its actual things that are much more clear like: car. So now I have lost all my blog ideas I was still cultivating while I took my break. Hopefully there is some form of creativity left in my head that I can think of new things.

Alright, so moral of the story is that I am back. Sorry I left for so long.

Dear person looking for this, you are welcome.





I am back.

Alright I am back.

I know I didn't earn a break because I am not important or anything but I needed a little one while my body adjusted to a new life-source sucking chair.

That's right ladies, gentlemen and grandparents: I started my new job two weeks ago now and it sucks just as much if not more then the other one. Hurray. The new job is one of those jobs that has consistent things to do, however the options are really like choosing between a stab in the eye or a punch in the throat. I won't complain too much about it right now because I have other things to complain about, which is why you are all here right, to let me vent my obnoxious whining about my life that probably isn't as bad as I think it is? no? you just were sent here accidentally looking for something about "Rocket Powered Shoes", "Powered by Sweatpants" and my personal favourite, "Bear eating a Taco". Well those will come soon. (P.S. those are some of the search terms that people have used to find my blog. Not making that shit up. Sometimes I love the Internet so hard.)

So, you want to know what else has been happening to me lately?

Well on Thursday my phone died. Tragedy. I was looking forward to lastly the entire three years with one cell phone. I had 5 months left. I made it 2 years and 7 months with the same cell phone and I was in no way sick of it. However out of nowhere, as I was sitting doing my job enthusiastically as possible, a low rumble started to vibrate across my desk. looking down I became afraid. Shifting ever so slightly, my phone moved towards me. The noises slowly grew louder, building and building, finally erupting in a blood curdling cry of pain and horror. As the screaming grew even louder lights began to fill the spaces between the keys. Blue light was shooting out of all the joints. As I pick up my phone I could see that it was not simple blue light, but a flame. I held my phone up off the surface and looked at it as the plastic melted. As the seams split a figure emerged. A small blue dragon unwrapped its wings like a butterfly free of its cocoon. Flapping its wings into my face it hissed one last blue flame into my eyes and flew off into the office.

Needless to say I spent my Thursday lunch time trying to get a new phone. The guy working there was clearly all into IPhone and kept trying to sell me the most obnoxiously large phones they had. Its either that boys don't understand that girl pockets are smaller and therefore do not have room for the larger phones, or they simply don't care. Also, when I say: I would like my exact phone but the newer one" I do not mean, "Please try to convince to buy something I never wanted so that I will have to learn an entirely new interface and shave down 90% of my thumbs because that's the only way a touch screen keyboard will even work for me." I left with the phone I wanted. With a pretty sweet deal. Bringing in my old phone got me a trade in value of 60$ because you know, official dragons releasing raises value, and my new phone was only 30$ with a new contract which I don't mind because I like my phone company enough. So basically moral of the story is that I win. New phone is fancy.

There is one really big loss with getting a new phone that I didn't think of. I was all concerned and worried about getting my pictures and contacts off my phone that I didn't think about the even more crucial and important thing: My notes. Blackberry's have this little notepad thing that you can keep all these notes. I had a bunch of them. Most importantly to you one filled of all my ideas I have for blog posts. Sometimes they are really cryptic like: guy at bus stop spits, but sometimes its actual things that are much more clear like: car. So now I have lost all my blog ideas I was still cultivating while I took my break. Hopefully there is some form of creativity left in my head that I can think of new things.

Alright, so moral of the story is that I am back. Sorry I left for so long.

Dear person looking for this, you are welcome.





Shopping is Best When Done in the Comfort of Your Sweatpants!