Letters to my Day: Volume 1

As I have no business in politics, let's get back to my true wheel house: Strange and Weird things that make little to no sense.

I would like to write a series of open letters to the area in which I work because I am leaving in two days and will be going to a new job a few block away. It doesn't sound so far but its a whole new set of things to learn.

Let's start at the beginning of my day.


Dear Alarm Clock,

F@#% you. I will not miss 5 am at all. I will see you in two weeks when I have to go back to work. But for now, shut up and stop being so bright.

Sincerely,
Tanya


Dear School Bag,

I use you because if I didn't I would forget all my passes and keys. I think we work well together, however I would like to know why the hell you are so heavy. There is nothing in you except two notebooks and my wallet and we all know I have no money. Be less heavy you porker.

Sincerely,
Tanya


Dear Mom's Jeep,

Thank you for allowing me to sit in you all the time. However stop leaking oil because it smells bad and makes people nervous.

Sincerely,
Tanya


Dear Bus Witch,

I look forward to having a couple weeks to rid myself of all your voodoo curses you have been mumbling at me every day as you exit the bus. I am almost sure you will still be there should I return, but if you could maybe use your witch craft for good and let me win the lottery I would totally buy you a broomstick so you wouldn't have to ride the bus anymore.

Sincerely,
Tanya


Dear Miscellaneous Bus Drivers,

Every time I get used to one of you, you switch out drivers. That is fair because it is kind of the worst bus route ever. I would like to suggest that you stop using the smaller buses for a route that clearly needs a big one, and also when you pull away from the curb, stop being so evil and wobbly. I fall and its embarrassing and painful.

Sincerely,
Tanya


Dear Newspaper Man,

Good luck and I hope people are nicer to you. Don't let the stuck up downtown people get you down. You should probably get a puppy or a small monkey, I hear that works for other people. Not that you are a beggar, but people love puppies. Better yet, give me a puppy and then I would take all of your newspapers to train my puppy. Do you see how this is a win win situation? I am so smart sometimes.

Sincerely,
Tanya


Dear Tim Horton's Lady,

It is both an honour and an embarrassment that you now know exactly what I want and get it before I even have to say anything. Thank you for not seeming like your judging me even though you probably are.

Sincerely,
Tanya


We haven't even made it into my office yet. Clearly a lot of people have a big impact on me every single day. I think I will come back to this a bit later as the emotion is too much. Well, it would be if I were capable of feeling emotions like a normal person. Although I don't think normal people care about bus witches. That just shows you how nice of a person I am. Sort of. 

Stop eating so many pennies back pack. Too freakin' heavy.

Letters to my Day: Volume 1

As I have no business in politics, let's get back to my true wheel house: Strange and Weird things that make little to no sense.

I would like to write a series of open letters to the area in which I work because I am leaving in two days and will be going to a new job a few block away. It doesn't sound so far but its a whole new set of things to learn.

Let's start at the beginning of my day.


Dear Alarm Clock,

F@#% you. I will not miss 5 am at all. I will see you in two weeks when I have to go back to work. But for now, shut up and stop being so bright.

Sincerely,
Tanya


Dear School Bag,

I use you because if I didn't I would forget all my passes and keys. I think we work well together, however I would like to know why the hell you are so heavy. There is nothing in you except two notebooks and my wallet and we all know I have no money. Be less heavy you porker.

Sincerely,
Tanya


Dear Mom's Jeep,

Thank you for allowing me to sit in you all the time. However stop leaking oil because it smells bad and makes people nervous.

Sincerely,
Tanya


Dear Bus Witch,

I look forward to having a couple weeks to rid myself of all your voodoo curses you have been mumbling at me every day as you exit the bus. I am almost sure you will still be there should I return, but if you could maybe use your witch craft for good and let me win the lottery I would totally buy you a broomstick so you wouldn't have to ride the bus anymore.

Sincerely,
Tanya


Dear Miscellaneous Bus Drivers,

Every time I get used to one of you, you switch out drivers. That is fair because it is kind of the worst bus route ever. I would like to suggest that you stop using the smaller buses for a route that clearly needs a big one, and also when you pull away from the curb, stop being so evil and wobbly. I fall and its embarrassing and painful.

Sincerely,
Tanya


Dear Newspaper Man,

Good luck and I hope people are nicer to you. Don't let the stuck up downtown people get you down. You should probably get a puppy or a small monkey, I hear that works for other people. Not that you are a beggar, but people love puppies. Better yet, give me a puppy and then I would take all of your newspapers to train my puppy. Do you see how this is a win win situation? I am so smart sometimes.

Sincerely,
Tanya


Dear Tim Horton's Lady,

It is both an honour and an embarrassment that you now know exactly what I want and get it before I even have to say anything. Thank you for not seeming like your judging me even though you probably are.

Sincerely,
Tanya


We haven't even made it into my office yet. Clearly a lot of people have a big impact on me every single day. I think I will come back to this a bit later as the emotion is too much. Well, it would be if I were capable of feeling emotions like a normal person. Although I don't think normal people care about bus witches. That just shows you how nice of a person I am. Sort of. 

Stop eating so many pennies back pack. Too freakin' heavy.

Newspaper Lions

Surprise! I am bored again. Big shocker I am sure of it.

I just wanted to take a moment to say a big thank you to the nice old man who works for the Metro newspaper. I get off the bus and he has been there every day for a while now (sometimes it changes people) and he hands me my free paper. Now, on days when the bus parks too far or is closer to the box I tend to just get them there but he always looks so sad and disappointed I try to see him.

I feel bad for this elderly man. He is so friendly and smiles at everyone but most people don't even make eye contact with him. What has the world come to if you can't even be bothered to look someone in the eyes and say "no thanks" if you don't want a free newspaper.

Today when he gave me my paper he said "don't ever stop smiling" to me and it probably was the highlight of my day. I guess it is because I am a small-town girl from one of the last places believing in common decency, but I just think its nice to be nice. At least to strangers just trying to do their jobs. It truly seems like a crappy job.

So, downtown please try to be nice to the paper people. They mean no harm and usually are just cold and bored so just give them a polite nod if you can possibly can spare the energy. It's not like its a lion trying to eat you, it is a person trying to give you a newspaper. Calm down.

Side note- as great as this old man is I really miss the old one. I had the same paper guy for probably close to a year and he was so friendly and I think he knew what bus I was on because he would see it coming and walk closer to it to give me my paper. One day they were giving away samples of special K bars and he gave me a full box. He was the greatest. But the new guy is also grand.

Newspaper Lions

Surprise! I am bored again. Big shocker I am sure of it.

I just wanted to take a moment to say a big thank you to the nice old man who works for the Metro newspaper. I get off the bus and he has been there every day for a while now (sometimes it changes people) and he hands me my free paper. Now, on days when the bus parks too far or is closer to the box I tend to just get them there but he always looks so sad and disappointed I try to see him.

I feel bad for this elderly man. He is so friendly and smiles at everyone but most people don't even make eye contact with him. What has the world come to if you can't even be bothered to look someone in the eyes and say "no thanks" if you don't want a free newspaper.

Today when he gave me my paper he said "don't ever stop smiling" to me and it probably was the highlight of my day. I guess it is because I am a small-town girl from one of the last places believing in common decency, but I just think its nice to be nice. At least to strangers just trying to do their jobs. It truly seems like a crappy job.

So, downtown please try to be nice to the paper people. They mean no harm and usually are just cold and bored so just give them a polite nod if you can possibly can spare the energy. It's not like its a lion trying to eat you, it is a person trying to give you a newspaper. Calm down.

Side note- as great as this old man is I really miss the old one. I had the same paper guy for probably close to a year and he was so friendly and I think he knew what bus I was on because he would see it coming and walk closer to it to give me my paper. One day they were giving away samples of special K bars and he gave me a full box. He was the greatest. But the new guy is also grand.