Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Guilt Monster

So its September which normally means back to school. However because I managed to graduate last April I am not going back. This feeling is the strangest feeling that hasn't quite set in yet. I think everyone assumes it will be weird, but I think the true strangest part of it is that it doesn't feel different just yet.

I think my problem is that I tended to skip some classes because I am human and honestly don't learn that way. I am a horrible role model. Well I guess I might be good, I still never failed a class? Either way, that is how life went. I had a lot going on and needed to sleep sometimes.

Basically how this related to my point is that so far, it doesn't feel different that I am not in school and out shopping at Walmart. I thought I would feel accomplished and finished and satisfied, but I just feel mildly guilty for skipping classes I am not registered in.

This is really annoying I must say. I am done. I am even done work until the 24th. I should have two weeks of relaxation and rejuvenation. Instead I feel exhausted from constantly thinking I should be somewhere. Guilt is exhausting. Unnecessary guilt is horrendously draining. It is just as much guilt you get when you skip school, or call in sick to work except I have literally nothing to feel guilty for. I think.

I have a few things I need to do in the next two weeks. Such as my Grammie just called and I get to go hang out with her on Friday. And then I need to buy new "work appropriate" clothing because I don't think new job will allow me to wear yellow shoes because I was really pushing the limits before.

I only really started wearing those after working there for two years and they kind of loved me because I was pretty decent at my job. Surprising I know. I complained about it a lot, but they were good to me and I totally got all my work done I promise. They even gave me an award when I left for my "enthusiasm and client-driven attitude" or something to that effect.

Also this week/next week I need to get started working on my novel plot. That is a whole other issue. I also need to plan my November novel which is even more scary because what was going to be a secret/surprise is no longer and now the person is looking forward to it. Crap.

PS: The cutest kids that are sometimes on Ellen that sing and wear tutus must be secretly related to Sandy and I. Two words to help Sandy understand why: Pool Mermaids.

Anyways I am off for now! Be back later! I need to stop using this laptop to write, its not attached to my drawing thing. I guess there are Post-its out here... I will have to go old fashioned.

I am off to fight the guilt monster. Maybe I would feel better if I got dressed... HAHAHA. Just kidding.


  1. I'm sososo sorry I told kris about the book, but he'll honestly be fine without it. It's not as big of a deal as you're making it I think.

  2. Sorry, I am just being dramatic. I am excited about it! I just need to figure out what I am doing lol


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