Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Near Catastrophe

Last night I faced a near tragedy. Last night I almost had one of the worst things that could happen to someone who owns dogs.

I let Noodle, Dave's dog, outside to go pee before she went to bed. I opened the door and she rocketed out as usual only to stop at the bottom of the stairs and make a quick turn to face the garbage bags. Now that's not completely abnormal because she might be the weirdest dog on the face of the Earth, but it was a little weird because she was doing the pee-pee dance for a while and probably really had to go.

I held the door open, allowing the light from the kitchen to shine out because our outside light doesn't work for some reason but as it did I noticed that the garbage bags were moving. When the light finally hit, I saw it. The worst thing anyone with a monstrous barky dog could imagine.




So as my heart started racing my eyes fluttered around looking for the stupid wiener dog to make sure she wont get sprayed. That is when I see her. Her nose, halfway towards the skunks stinky old spraying bum. Her sniffy little nose, approaching the stupid skunks butt as they munched away on my trash bags.

I had to try to get her back into the house. I was not bathing a squirmy wiener dog. Especially at midnight.

I am a professional at the whisper-yell. I have two dogs and they go outside at early/late times so I have to often get them back in the house without making enough noise to wake the neighbors. So as I am whispering as loud as I can so Noodle will come back and stop sniffing the stupid skunks.

She ignored me because she is three quarters evil and the rest is all just thoughts about cookies.

I then closed the door quietly and tried to get Dave to go get her but he was brushing his teeth. Then he proceeded to get cranky that I left his demon dog out with the evil skunks. Which I suppose is fair, however its not my fault that his dog hates me. So we trotted back to the back door to check how stinky Noodle is, and when we opened the door the skunks trotted away and Noodle ran back inside at the slightest noise from Dave.

This is where the story gets ridiculous. She didn't smell at all. Not one little bit. I was baffled and shocked and so beyond happy you have no clue. She didn't even bark. I was proud. And relieved.

Anyways, that is all I have to say for now. I am really boring lately. The only time I have left the house in the last week is to go out searching down the seasons of Gilmore Girls. May I highlight I FINALLY found season four and now I have them all. Just started season 4 today, Rory is at Yale and it makes me jealous. I want to live in Stars Hallow. It is perfect. Someone find out if its a real place and where I can go to Luke's Diner.

Anyways I am so tired and am watching Gilmore Girls so I cannot focus.

The only explanation for Noodle not barking at the skunks is that she was flirting. Also there is STILL something stuck under my keyboard but I don't know how it got there because there aren't spaces and it is REALLY annoying.

I am on a Gilmore Girls overdose. And I am loving it.

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