Thursday, August 8, 2013

And now I am afraid of the flu

So Crystal meant to add the following into her post yesterday. She had emailed me my challenge early so I would have time to actually do it because she knew she was going to be posting a bit late last night. Here's the challenge:


 Just emailing you Challenge #2 because you wanted prep time. I know that by the time I get home from work and write out my BSB challenge it will be pretty late. I know that the boy (do you put names in blogs? I never remember) loves Discovery Channel and this has inspired this week’s challenge. Shark Week started on August 4th this year– and hopefully is still running by the time you post this. All I’m asking for are 3 cool facts about sharks – actual cool facts. Not just some lackadaisical Wikipedia entry stuff, but actual things that make sharks seem less like killing machines. They’re kind of rad, but also make me think my death is imminent every time I step into any kind of water source.  You can also totally any subjective thoughts you have or stories or anything, just make sure you get those facts.  

 For instance, I couldn’t remember the name of the 1999 movie where there are juiced-up sharks in what I thought was a lake, killing people (Deep Blue Sea, with Samuel L Jackson), so I googled ‘Shark in a Lake’. Not to terrify you, but it’s ABSOLUTELY A THING THAT HAS HAPPENED


So as you can see Crystal has challenged me to a bizarre task of researching Sharks. Given that it is Discovery channel's Shark Week the theme seemed to make sense. Crystal wanted me to find you some facts that made it seem like they are not crazy killing machines and less terrifying. Now the problem is, I don't think I can do that. From my research I have concluded that sharks are terrifying and awful and I never ever want to meet one in the wild in my entire life. If it is not behind the safety of a glass tank or a television screen I have no desire to be anywhere near it. Crystal wanted three cool facts so I will try to give them to you based on my entirely reliable internet research that I totally put a lot of time into and checked in encyclopedias and stuff.

  1. Even though almost equal numbers of men and women spend time in the ocean, no one knows why sharks seem to prefer to attack men. In fact, nearly 90% of shark attacks have happened to men.

  2. The empty egg cases of some sharks (such as the dogfish shark) that wash up on seashores are called “mermaid purses.”

  3. Dreaming has been observed in bony fish, but not yet in sharks.

So those are three non-terrifying things about sharks. Granted the first one is still scary for men, but seeing as how I am not a man I have that small comfort to assist me. I find it comical that an empty shark egg would be called a mermaid purse  because I am sure mermaids are a little bit more stylish than that. Could you imagine? A mermaid just swimming around an ocean and being all "Oh my goodness what is this glorious treasure is this?" *picks up eggs* "Why, this would go great with my seashell bra and coral hair accessories!" I guess it's not much different from us humans using alligator skin for our purses right? Do people use eggs for fashion on land?

Anyway so there's something comforting to me about sharks not being able to dream. I feel almost as though they don't deserve it do to the fact that I find them scary. I like dreams (most of the time) last night I had a bunch of them that were all really weird and involving people I haven't seen in a while but they were all fun anyway. I enjoy that a shark isn't allowed to dream. It's a magical place that evil things shouldn't be allowed to do.

So, the thing about this challenge is that now I am terrified of sharks. Not sure that Crystal thought through the act of giving this challenge to someone like me but I expect that I will never go in an ocean again. The thing about these three facts is I had to hunt for through various facts about how evil sharks. Now I know that a sharks bite will cut through steel. Great. There is also one kind of shark that basically cuts holes in its prey. Perfect. tonight when I go to sleep I am going to have a bunch of bad dreams about sharks. Which is the one downside to dreams I guess. If sharks could dream then we could teach them all the terrifying things about me and they could be haunted by the thought of meeting me. Things such as: is crazy, is basically batman in almost every way, can kill a creature with one eye twitch, sneezes fire, you know all those types of things. The most truthful things about myself.

Now that my fear of sharks is poised and heightened, I will give you one bonus fact:

  1. Things we encounter in everyday life and common activities often pose much greater danger than sharks. For example, you are much more likely to be killed by a car or bicycle accident, bee stings, a fall, a mishap with fireworks, or even a bad case of the flu than by a shark attack.

So now I am afraid of dying from the flu. I am legitimately always sick. This is going to a be a rough winter up here in Canada-Land.

Anyway, now I need to think of a new challenge for Crystal.

OKAY GOT IT! (you don't know this but I just sat quietly for five minutes staring at the wall thinking.)

CHALLENGE #3: We are going to play Two Truths and a Lie.

You tell me Three stories about your life. Three things that happened to you. except one will be not true. THEN when you post that I have to guess which one I think the lie is. If I get it right, all is well. If I get it wrong, you can punish me with a punishment. I think it might be best to keep up the whole, pick one of three thing like I gave you but I will leave that to your discretion.

1 comment:

  1. […] if you are lost on Thursday I challenged Crystal to play two truths and a lie. She had to tell three stories about her life and then one would be a […]


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