So Crystal has challenged me to make up a movie of my life. Also to make the movie poster and all the details and cast. The best part about movies is they get to exaggerate and change things into very different entities only half touching on the truth.
I will try my best, this is a hard challenge
I can't get the "read more" thing to work so i had to use this other type that is pages so just deal with the crazy long post okay?
So Crystal sent me some additional details to help me figure out how detailed it needs to be. Its extensive. I will put headings so you can follow along nicely.
Alright I am going to start with the cast because that's easiest maybe. (Please note that I am NOT picking based on how much they look like people they are representing because that would be damn impossible, going more by who I believe could portray them properly)
Type of Film:
She wanted me to specify the kind of movie it would be, action, drama, comedy, indie, historical, summer blockbuster, etc. This question is tricky because I haven't yet decided the plot of this movie. which I guess I need to do right this second. Okay so it would probably be a comedy/road trip comedy kind of deal. I obviously love that this doesn't need to be factual because no one would watch a factual account of my life. Not even me.
Tanya, a 22 year old University student has been coasting through life taking things as they come and figuring out her plan as things happen. She works part time at the Home Depot with her friend Jake and goes to school to get a degree she is not sure what she is going to do with any more. She lives with her Boyfriend Dave in an apartment near her school. She spends a lot of her time hanging out with her best friend Crystal sharing their stresses over their lack of life plans over pizza and ice cream. She takes her laundry to her aunts house so they can have girls nights with Chelsea and Colleen and also so she doesn't have to spend 4$ to wash her clothes. Tanya recently started a second job at a government office that she hates but goes to because it pays her a lot of money. Fast Forward a few years and she is 24, still unsure of what she is going to do. She has bought a house and needs to pay for it but her contract at work is up and she needs to leave. She decides without any hesitation that this is her chance, she is going to move to California and write her hit TV show with her friend Jake, dragging her boyfriend Dave and best friend Crystal with her.
The four of them road trip to California in her beat up Mazda Protege, sleeping in gross motels and eating at every IHOP on their way. They are going to do eight hours of driving every day and plan to get to L.A. in a week. Jake and Tanya work to get their pilot script written as they travel using their laptops. As they drive through Nebraska, they pull into a rest stop to get gas and lunch, but when they come back out to go to the car, it is no where to be found. They run back in and call the local cops but when they arrive they are ridiculous and not at all useful saying that they shouldn't have left they keys in the car (which they didn't but the cops are really stupid). The cops give them a ride to the bus station and luckily they all had their wallets still on them. Tanya and Jake only then realize that their scripts are gone with their laptops but Tanya remembers she saved it to a server online so if they can get new computers they should be able to find it and not have lost everything. When they go to buy bus tickets to LA they don't have enough money left. They have just enough money to get a bus to Utah. They decide its better than nothing and begin their bus ride. Jake and Tanya find paper at the bus station and borrow pens so they can keep working, Crystal and Dave helping as much as they can.
They arrive in Utah in the middle of the night and realize that without any money they can't really rent a hotel room. They wander Utah until they find a 24 hour diner and go there with enough money to buy two burgers which they all share. The diner owner asks them where they are headed. They explain what happened to them and he takes pity on them saying that if they clean the entire diner they can get 4 bus tickets to Las Vegas and then his brother who lives in Vegas and runs a casino would get them set up with a job for a day and then they can get to L.A. from there. So they begin to clean the disgusting diner which looks as though it hadn't been cleaned in months. Dave throws up all over the bathroom, Tanya and Crystal are attacked by mice in the kitchen, and Jake finds out that it isn't green icing on the donuts. They eventually get the place sparkling clean and the diner owner gives them their tickets for the bus and then have to run to the station to catch in time. The bus is already driving away a few minutes early but the four of them chase the bus for a few blocks until it finally stops and they can get on.
They arrive in Vegas right near the casino that the diner owner's brother owns and go in. There are bouncers outside that almost don't let them in because they are grimy and full of diner scum and haven't changed their clothes in a few days but as they are arguing with them the casino owner walks by and recognizes the diner logo on the hat that Dave had been given after his old hat fell into his puddle of vomit at the diner. He then tells them to go shower and put on their uniforms. Crystal and Tanya work as waitresses while Dave and Jake are bartenders for the night. They make all kinds of tips all in casino money and then after their shifts they realize that not only do they have enough money to get to L.A. they have enough to help them pay for their time in hotels for their stay in California and even a plane ticket home. Jake bets some of his money and then manages to double it so he rushes out and buys a new laptop and they manage to finish off their script before getting some sleep.
The next day they leave for L.A, finding that the casino owner had left them new clothes. They catch their bus easily and make it to Hollywood. It's pilot season so all the networks are accepting options. They start at NBC and when they walk into the gates they see a car that looks a lot like Tanya's Mazda. It even had the same rust spots. They get closer and realize that it IS Tanya's Mazda and it still has all their bags inside. They go to the gate and ask whose car it is and then find out its the boss of NBC. Crystal starts to call the cops to report it but Tanya stops her. They instead go to their pitch and find the boss is in the meeting. They start to talk to him and try to be friendly and tell him their story of how they got to L.A. he laughs at the story saying its hilarious but when they get to the part about the stolen car he begins to look nervous, forcing his laughs. Finally Tanya slips her phone across with a picture of her car on it saying "I don't know who would want to steal it, it's a piece of junk. You wouldn't want a car that looked like this would you?" The boss breaks into hysterical tears and says that he didn't mean to steal it, he thought it was his car. They then show they had the keys so he obviously had to hot wire it, he says he always has to because he doesn't know where his keys for his actual car are because hes always doing too many drugs. He says that if they don't report it he will give them anything they want. They consider making him put their show on his network but decide against it because its NBC and obviously the boss is crazy so they tell him he has to get their show onto a better network and give them back their car. He does all this and they sign their show to a good network with bosses who are not car thieves.
Jake and Tanya become the show-runners for their hit TV show, Crystal gets a job working at a museum while assisting part time in art direction on set and Dave works with a stunt team rigging explosions and guns for action movies.
If it were featured on Netflix, what movies would be recommended to you after watching it?
Probably some road trip movies, Identity Theif, Due Date, Harold and Kumar, Rat Race. Then some movies about friends, I love you man, the hangover.
And finally, Movie Poster:
Whew. That was hard. I thought casting would be so easy. NOT.
Anyway, there is the movie of my life only kind of altered from what it is, called Pilot Season.