Thursday, August 23, 2012

Conversations with Common Sense at 3am

I think I am the real life lady-version of Chandler Bing.

I do not stop talking - no matter how awkward it gets, until someone literally says STOP.

Anyways, changing the topic, I had a really stupid dream the other night which resulted in a sad conversation in my head that shouldn't have happened.

So in my dream, I got to class which was the exact room as my grade nine french class, same people and everything (except all the desks were facing the wrong way). So when I sat down my teacher announced that it was test time. And I had no idea that there was a test so I was panicking. She handed out the test and it was some crazy intense math test that I didn't know anything about. Then my teacher announced that the people who had usually been skipping class had just decided against taking the test because they would fail either way. Now I was thinking I should just leave because clearly I had missed too much, but then I saw the test was only worth 8% of my total mark and was going to try but it was basically like reading another language.

Then I woke up. Now this might seem like a normal dream for someone to have, however its what happened after that was the pathetic part.

I sat up in bed all panicked and had a lovely conversation with myself in the dark. Here is how it went.

Me: "How did you not know about a test? Now we need to go wake up and study."

Common Sense: "Well you should think about what your saying right now, because your making an ass of yourself."

Me: "No, your being an ass, your common sense, why have we skipped class enough to not know about the freaking test!"

Common Sense: "Just, think it through you moron."

Me: "It is 3am I am not responsible for thinking, that is your job."

Common Sense: "Fine, first off, when was the last time you were in your high school french class room? ten years ago? That's what I thought. Second, you didn't take any math classes since high school unless you count Stats. Thirdly, it is summer and there is no school in summer. and most importantly: You are done school you idiot."

Me: "So I can go back to bed?"

Common Sense: "Yes, but only for a little bit because then you need to go to work."

Me: "Ugh Screw that."

Common Sense: "No you'll go, otherwise I will have your conscience take out your left kidney.

Me: *cowers under covers*

And that's how I end up at work when I had no desire to go. My conscience is an asshole.

And he has a smoking problem, he really isn't one who should be judging me.

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