Monday, August 20, 2012

Three Weeks Left

Three weeks people. Three weeks from now I will be unemployed if I don't find something soon. I think I would be a lot more motivated to search for a job if I didn't work here. Being here kills all my motivation and spirit. I would rather swim in the Arctic then work here.

Please don't force me to test that, I really hate cold water/I can't breathe in it and it hurts.

So I need some get rich quick scheme that would actually work. I guess the whole point of those is that they never actually work which is why its called a scheme and why everyone in the world is not doing one. What about a get-well-off-in-a-respectable-amount-of-time scheme? Do those exist? I guess they are called a job right. I will never win.

I honestly don't think I am built for the real world. I am too awkward. It is kind of like trapping the Tasmanian Devil and shoving him into a pant suit and telling him to sit still. Well, I suppose I don't have his energy. I guess I would be more like a really fat and lazy five year old who still really likes to colour as long as she is given a cookie to do it. So take the fat five year old, put her in a pant suit, and then make her stare at a computer screen all day and should she get caught colouring she gets scolded and all her cookies are changed into lettuce.

Who decides these things. Things like: what constitutes an acceptable job. Maybe, I just want to sit at home and work on my writing. But no that's not acceptable because company expects to be paid. Selfish Bastards. Don't they realize they could be depriving the world of the next great American novel? Which is extra impressive because I am Canadian. A solid piece of literature that I will never be able to provide because my mortgage thinks it deserves to get paid. It doesn't do a whole lot so why should it get paid and I can't?

I wish I could be like JK Rowling, only now. If I could skip the 7 years of being poor that would be great. Although I guess I have already been poor for 7 years.  I don't have a kid to support but I do have two dogs and a Dave. I mean, if I get another dog then three dogs must equal one human? However it could be argued that Noodle has enough personality for three dogs on her own so I would think between our two and potential one more in the general future its equivalent to many children.

So when will my stroke of genius erupt? When does my big billion dollar idea explode from the labyrinth of my mind? I do understand it taking a little bit of time because I can't even pull my own phone number out of my brain without preparing myself for a solid week, but I would hope that my story is trying very hard to make it out. I wish it would hurry though. I am pretty impatient.

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