Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Happy National Asshole Day!

Hi Everyone!

I am here to wish you a Happy National Asshole Day!

Today, people will be driving in attempts to kill you, driving really slowly, walking out into traffic, yelling at you for no reason, and generally acting like a prick all day.

This day is probably a result of parents being pissed off about having to spend all that money for their kids going back to school, and losing all of their vacation days wasted sitting at a water park with their spoiled kids. So they take it out on us poor people in the city.

The next big holiday is I.D.I.O.T. Day. It is the day in early September of Irresponsible Delirious, Inconvenient, Oblivious Teens. They will soon be going back to school, henceforth filling up the bus systems as they block the doors, they will walk hand and hand down side walks not moving for anyone, and they will be really loud and inconsiderate wherever they may go. This Day is not necessarily always a day, but more of a time period. It usually lasts until June. Sorry world.

 Perhaps its more of I.D.I.O.T Month, September is the worst. And June. Or all of it. Maybe a season? I.D.I.O.T Season from Sept-June?

If you are a teen and you are reading this take note: No one cares about anything you have to say when you are on public transportation. If you are with your friends, use your indoor voices. Remember when you learned that in kindergarten? Good, use them. Also, step away from the bus doors unless  you are getting off of the bus. Its rude. And lastly, just because you are all popular in high school and think you are relevant, you are not. This is the real world boys and girls, no one cares if you are the "most awesomest in the school" except your mother. So go talk loudly near her, because me and the other working chumps of the city could not care less.

If you are not one of those loud and annoying teens who actually have the mental capacity to respect the world around them, go get a cupcake you totally deserve it.

To all the assholes out there today on National Asshole Day: Please go get a sedative and stay home? I know that's too much to ask for because you are all already at work, I know I have already seen you and been annoyed by you. But if any of you are still home, stay there. Save the rest of us. Although maybe that makes me an asshole? Its allowed today I suppose, its defensive. The best defence is a good offence... or some other sports analogy that lets me get away with being an ass today...

Go Home Assholes! Your giving me eye spasms!

1 comment:

  1. first, I would like to know what you do with all your special little drawings after you photograph them for your blog... you must have quite the collection by now?

    Second, yes it's asshole day for sure... since we got stuck behind girly motorcycle dude with the white socks (from a previous blog entry) and then got cut off by oblivious jerk who doesn't know how to use his gas pedal *sigh*

    I shall be extra vigilant today out on my walk as there are usually assholes on Carling Avenue already... can't imagine how dedicating the day to them will affect their egos and their asshole-edness .. wish me luck ! LOL


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