Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Motorcycles and Butterflies

Because as a consistency is a clear priority to me, I am going to continue talking about aging today. In a way. Sort of. Mostly, but not really.

Anyways, today I saw an older man on my way to work. Now the thing with this older man was that he was in his Man-o-pause prime. This man was riding a motorcycle. It looked brand new and semi-fancy.

The problem with this, was that the poor old man looked like he would rather be chasing butterflies than riding his motorcycle.

The first thing I noticed was his helmet. Because I recently went helmet shopping because of Dave's ATV I know there are endless types and styles and sizes. This man, on his fancy-supposed-to-look-like-a-Harley-but-is-for-weenies bike was wearing the Vespa style of helmets in bright white. Didn't even get black to try to sneak it in as a cool retro style helmet.

The second thing, he was wearing a ladies jacket. I am about 80% sure this is true. The jacket we very tight fitted the way girls clothes do, and the shoulders were so poofy that it added an extra 3 inches on top of his crumpled and terrified frame.

The third and most important thing, he was wearing loafers. Brown loafers. Seriously buddy, when the people at the motorcycle dealership are laughing as they dress you, take a hint.

I understand the concept of a mid-life crisis. I have already gone through many. Mostly because I don't think I ever believed I would live this long and I didn't want to miss out on my chance, but I get bored and change things a lot. (Just to clarify I am not dying or diseased in anyway, I am just really clumsy and super unlucky and figured I would die young from extreme salt intake or something).

So, as a note to older/middle aged men and women: If you are going to do a crazy mid-life crisis thing, please be aware it affects other people. If you are too afraid to ride a motorcycle on the roads, then maybe just buy a boat. If you are afraid of both these things, get a wine cellar.

Choose your mid-life crisis carefully, you only get one.

1 comment:

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