It is back to school season.
Usually I love back to school season, however this year I am not going back to school. You see this wouldn't be such a problem if everyone would just leave me alone and stop asking me if I was going back to school. I just did 4 years in a stupid University don't I get some kind of credit for that? Everyone at work is always asking, "are you going back for your masters?" "Are you going back right away or waiting a year?" "What are you plans, you want your masters right?"
NO. Leave me alone. I just did 4 years, and barely made it out alive. I am 100% sure if I did my masters right now it would kill me. Also, I don't even qualify because I did a 3 year degree it just took me four years because I am terrible at school. Also, I ended up with a degree that I only sort of want to pursue anymore. I have roughly no interest in becoming a psychologist anymore. The idea of sitting in a room all day, locked up with people with issues - sometimes not even half as bad as mine - and then giving them advice? No thanks. There's some cheesy expression for this? Something about a blind person... I can't remember and now it just sounds offencive. Sorry blind people I don't mean it as an insult there is just an expression I am too tired to remember right now.
Anyways, point is. I am a crazy person. Not just the fun kind of crazy, I have legitimately diagnosed illnesses in my crazy, crazy mind. For me to sit there and try to help someone would be pretty counter productive. This is what would happen:
Me: "What's troubling you today?"
Guy: "Well, I am hearing voices and they are telling me to jump off of buildings carrying samurai swords and slice through all the street signs in town."
Me: "Mhm, well that sounds fairly destructive, why do you think the voices would tell you that?"
Guy: "Well maybe its because my father was so angry and would often break things, and I have been very angry lately."
Me: "Mhm, that's not what I meant. Samurai swords would never cut through a street sign unless you were a highly trained ninja in the league of Shadows and even then, should you start destroying the city Batman would come kick your ass right?"
Guy: "Uhm, I suppose so? So you are saying that the only thing I am hurting is myself?"
Me: "No, I am saying watch your back you villainous ass-monkey, Batman will beat you down."
Guy: "Are you a psychologist? Like a real one?"
Guy: *runs away*
And that's how my journey to becoming Harley Quinn began, but only in my imagination. Except I could never love the Joker I don't think. I have to much love for Batman. This is getting extremely off topic.
(For those who don't know batman, Harley Quinn was a psychologist at Arkham Asylum and was working with the Joker but fell in love with him and went all crazy villainous so she could hang out with him. Moving on).
So, people keep telling me that I should go back to school. I really don't think they understand how school works. You don't just show up and then get a fancy piece of paper. You need like, ten grand a year to even start to pay for the semester, then there are books and supplies. Then on top of that, you still have home expenses like groceries, rent/mortgage, and electricity. So then you need a job, and then you need time to do school work and all of this factors into one giant mess of a year that ends up nearly killing you in a violent drowning in 8.5x11 papers. I've been doing that for 4 years now. It is not a good time for someone like me. I know a lot of people who love school, however they have these things called attention spans. I wonder what that is like... I wish I had a pet monkey sometimes that would fetch me things like sodas and potato chips.
What was I saying. Or, yes. School. School is great, I am so glad I have my degree and I recommend it to all people should they have the resources or like me, have the ability to get a loan. But when someone gets out of school, please, the world, stop hassling them so much. Give them some time to breathe before you smother them in expectations.