Tuesday, August 7, 2012

French Fries and Gazoo

Today kind of started in a really awkward way. I woke up and couldn't really open my left eye. It was all swollen and gross and uncomfortable. Because I am about as mature as a six year old my mother stopped by on her way to work to confirm my suspicions that it wasn't really good.

I then slept for another few hours and then tried to wake up the boy who had been snoring all night. He did not seem impressed. Seems as though he was sick too. When he finally got up and out of bed we ventured to the walk in clinic and turns out we both have some creepy bug from swimming in creepy water.

The best part about waking up with a gross and swollen eye is that I have a job interview tomorrow that I was already nervous for. I just have the best luck sometimes... Sometimes I think my dad might be right about the world. He thinks (I think its mostly a joke but with him you cannot be too sure) that we are all aliens that have misbehaved and so earth is basically our prison. He says that we all have an alien leader that is like Gazoo from the Flinstones who watches over us so that if anything starts to go too good, they send down some bad luck. It sounds entirely crazy at first, but look at your life and think about it: How often does every thing seem to be going so well until it just all the sudden isn't. Nothing has changed, you haven't changed, but all the sudden nothing goes right. Damn Gazoos.

So I haven't told you about my trip yet. Mostly because I have been lazy and partially because I am already starting to forget what we did. There was a lot of driving, a lack of sleeping, and a lot of chips and french fries.

French fries in Nova Scotia are pretty excellent I must say.

Here is the basic run down of my trip:

Day 1: Drive to Edmunston, NB. Dave got cranky in Montreal because Montreal is stupid. We got there and ordered excessive quantities of food that was half decent.

 Oh and on the way, we stopped in the crazy Quebec at this dinosaur themed rest stop and found cheap beer and a st huberts express. But the picture is on my phone and I cannot be bothered to email it to myself and put it up.

Day 2: Drive to Halifax, NS. Stopped for lunch at a place that the waitresses had those little change holders on their belts and they were neat. We ate yummy food in which Dave had bacon and cheese on his french fries.

on the left is my chicken finger platter and on the right Dave's fish and chips with bacon/cheese smothered french fries.

We arrived to our Westin Hotel in Halifax and it was very nice. However the masseuse at the spa was on vacation so that plan failed a bit. But we did get fancy robes worth 100$ to lounge in and I took full advantage of that. That evening we wandered the Harbour and bought a silly painting of a cow tied to a balloon.

Day 3: Still in Halifax. It was Alexander Keith's Day so there was stuff set up all along the boardwalk. However first Dave insisted we walk a million years up hill to go to an army surplus store and look at their crap. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't pouring rain the entire time. On our way back we got sick of being wet and cold and called a cab, getting the angriest cab driver in all of Nova Scotia. We dried off and then headed back out to the harbour walk thing. A strange child gave us free promotional ponchos and we wore them proudly. I ate a beavertail because you can never pass up a chance to eat a beavertail and still call yourself Canadian. We ate food a lot, and then ate more food, and ate more food. Then later got ice cream. Dave got an airbrush tattoo for free but then went in the hot tub and it washed off. Clever.

Day 4: We left for Cape Breton and drove the long way up the trail and eventually made it to the camp site. We went on a million hour walk (Probably only three) and found this neat rapid section and crossed it into these little pools. Crossing this is where I got my eye infection. Thanks the river. We then played cards in which I realized I can't remember the rules to go-fish but luckily Dave didn't know how to play (wtf?) so it didn't matter.

Day 5: We left camping after making grilled cheese, and my making grill cheese I mean burning one and dropping one in the dirt. I also spilled half the loaf of bread because I didn't realize it was open. on the plus side, we didn't have a whole bunch of left over bread? The we drove around the island because it sounded like a good idea at the time. We went whale watching (where I got badly sunburnt) but I saw Whales as previously discussed and some dolphins.

Then after that we continued to drive around. We eventually ate at the chowder house and it was super good. Then the GPS broke and that was crappy. Luckily being a crazy pants I had mapquest directions home. We then drove all the way to Fredricton and didn't get in until 10, which after driving since like 9 am around Cape Breton was a long day. We stayed in a dingy motel that I didn't dare go under the covers.

Day 6: We left and drove home. Dave had a coughing fit right before Montreal which was fine because I was driving anyways. Again, Montreal is stupid but we got through just fine. When we made it back to the blessed Ontario we celebrated a bit and immediately found an English radio station.

After getting home: The house seemed empty without the dogs, but Noodle was with Dave's parents at the lake and Sable was at my sisters 40 minutes away. So we had the night to ourselves in which I made Dave watch one of the best movies Steven Spielberg ever made:

It freaks me out knowing that the little girl has Lisa Simpsons voice. Its strange seeing her as a human. Also, the morals are terrible Steven... Plot: Dinosaurs come to future after being given smart-making cereal. Instantly makes friends with runaway kid and then flies him into a strangers home. Kid then convinces rich girl to run away with him and join the creepy circus. She gives him sexy face and goes with him. They join the circus with blood - good sign and then get upset when it turns out the creepy circus man with a screw for an eye is bad news. screweye then turns them into monkeys and traps kids dinosaur friends. Clown helps save the day and the dinosaurs go to live in the museum and the rich girl convinces the kid to kiss her. So moral of the story: Always go with strangers who promise you dinosaurs. OH! And you know how movies have their stereotypical fat guy in the movie? Or a sterotypical black guy throwing out clever one liners? They still have that but hes a triceratops named Woog. He is my favourite.

Anyways, This is really long and not very entertaining but it does include a lot of non-connected items so its perfect for the internet!

P.P.S. I see I made more typos in my Paint drawing.When will microsoft give that shit spell check!

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