In the grand tradition of celebrating mundane accomplishments by serving some roasted creature on a bed of rice, I thought I would have a dinner party. Then, I remember I cannot cook, nor do I want to. I also have a messy house and little desire to clean it. SO, instead of all that mess, I figured that I could just imagine a much more interesting dinner party for you lovely folks and then we can all be invited.
So, now imagine my surprise when the first guest shows up 15 minutes early. I rush to the door apron still on and my heels clear across the room. As I pull the door open a lovely and giggling Meryl Streep jumps into the house in her overalls from Mama Mia. She smiles as she looks at my domesticated outfit and without a word she heads towards my kitchen to stir the potatoes.
I follow her in greeting her politely as she begins to slice the roast beast. She tells me stories of working with every actor ever and somehow transforms my meal from boring to extravagant. When she notices my shock and awe, she simple giggles and says "I didn't play Julia Childs for three months without learning a thing or two, now hand me you cooking torch." To which I reply "Meryl Streep I do not have such a thing." She then replies, "Don't worry, I will text Elvis to bring one as he lives just up the street."
Within moments Elvis arrives, politely knocking. He hands me a bottle of wine that looks very expensive and passes Meryl the torch. She proceeds to flambe some fancy dessert while Elvis sets up karaoke in the living room.
As I stand stunned between my kitchen and living room the door bell rings again. When I answer the door no one is there. I close the door in confusion but when I turn around Batman is standing directly behind me, close enough to smell the Kevlar.
"You should be more careful" He growled as his grimace broke. He proceeded to the living room to sing with Elvis as I heard some other voice in the kitchen. When I walk in Mr. Bean is eyeing the turkey that seemingly appeared fully cooked from nowhere. As he began to approach it Meryl grabs a spatula and initiates a tiny sword fight after throwing him a wooden spoon.
Tyra Banks walks into the house fiercely cat walking up the halls, stopping briefly to smize in my direction. I sneak past her to open the door, greeting Tom Hanks and Tim Allen as they discuss the significant contribution Toy Story made to the world.
When Wolverine shows up moments later, Meryl has him carve the turkey and roast while we all take out seats. The conversations at dinner including Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Wolverine, Batman, Elvis, Meryl Streep, Tyra Banks, Mr. Bean and myself were more then anyone could handle so I will just have to leave you to imagine what the eight of us would discuss.